2018 DIARY WEEK TWENTY FIVE 18/06 -- 24/06

Last week till we are paid, cannot believe I am back in this situation so soon after bailing myself out, but here we are and back to the usual worry and scrapping together the last few quid to survive. Only another week and we will see the end of William (BA Contractor) and Jenny who will be leaving, Jenny is off to have another baby, Will however is just fed up and needs a new role one that can be both enjoyable and more lucrative for him. Having also learned that my boss is going by September I know it is time for me to go too, but this is difficult however essential as I am not one for making moves unless it is forced on me. Get the CV out, use my days off well to start looking for local work. 

Rest of the week was predictable, blown all my money, and now further in debt when I thought I'd cleared it. Having loads of dark thoughts about ending my life and oh yeah the World Cup started with England getting a lucky first win 2-1 against the mighty Tunisia and on Sunday will be facing another of the big power houses of world football Panama.

FRANKIE WINNING THE ASCOT GOLD CUP AGAIN

It's also been Royal Ascot all week have found literally NO winners so just as well there was no funds to have a bet. Blogged about it all week and got hardly any views so maybe that is a sign that I am just wasting time doing this. 

2018 DIARY WEEK TWENTY FOUR 11/06 -- 17/06

RIP MUM Xx 

Monday 11th June

So this week began as the last one ended with me thinking of Mum who passed away a long time ago but it always in my heart and thoughts. Work on Monday was fine, am keeping busy there and plenty going on so the time tends to go quickly enough, have a couple of weeks to get through first though. Had a fire alarm drill on Tuesday, evacuating from the 17th floor was no fun, a slow decent you get dizzy about half way and as a result of 34 flights of stairs my thighs are killing me the rest of the week. 

Preparing to enjoy this year's World Cup, though the opening England game is on Monday (vs Tunisia) will see about following as many of the other games as I can. 

Had a nice chat with my boss midweek and it seems that we are all going, some very soon but some of us need to get ourselves together, look for something else and get out of Croner-i as the culture is bad and demoralising. Maybe there is something a little nearer to home? We will do some preliminary searches over the weekend perhaps. 

2018 DIARY WEEK TWENTY THREE 04/06 -- 10/06

June is here in full effect, thunder lightning and hot days, don't like the latter, don't mind the lightning it's entertaining when you wide awake at 3am as I usually am. I really don't know what to say about this week, am awake before 6am whether i like it or not and up / out before 7am. Really not an early bird but with travel disrupted for the foreseeable future it's not going to change much. Again I've no money, just about enough for next week or so, going be tight. Same old story.

Midweek and the travelling hasn't been too bad I suppose, thinking about what to do this weekend, as it is the anniversary of Mum passing away so should try and reach the Crematorium. Means plenty of buses, but go out and do it please. 


There is an open day at Hillingdon Railway Modellers but as it stands I doubt if I will be able to go out there. Shame as I liked going over and running a few of Dads models but this weekend will be for Mum Xx Maybe I can get some of the trains out on Sunday for a run. The rest of the weekend is probably a quiet one, sort out things are home and wonder how you going to get through the next couple of weeks on no money. 

2018 DIARY WEEK TWENTY TWO 28/05 -- 03/06

BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY starts off another new week, have been struggling again and it's clear I have some serious problems to deal with. Can I get through this month? Well if I can keep myself busy maybe I can. Today though, just going to chill out and relax at home doing plenty of cleaning up and empty some drawers. 

If possible will get the trains out perhaps for a little run around, it does calm me down a bit and I've some more track and points for the N Gauge to use too. What I need next is a larger board to put it on and create a little run around test track with couple of sidings. Only going to be big enough for the N Gauge but the OO Still has a bit of an end to end for trying out a few of the loco's I do have. Admit I love these models and they still do help me switch off a little and that's why I need something quick and easy to set up and use more frequently. 

Life is still a struggle, it's just one day at a time though. The next TEN MONTHS however will be difficult with lots of disruption at home, traffic and personal. Getting into London each day will require an earlier start, some additional effort and focus on what really matters. First day was fine in the morning although I left a lot earlier than usual and terrible coming home. Looks like I will be walking home now as buses are far too long a wait maybe wearing my Sketchers shoes will make that effort a little more bearable. Second day just as bad and struggling to be up early enough in the morning too .... only another 300+ days to go. 

Have a quiet weekend planned, don't need to go far, watch The Derby at Epsom and aim to have a bit of a clear up.