Wow the final week of 2019 and looks like I am ending it as badly as I started. So sad, my mind just cannot resolve things anymore, and appears that the path I am on is not one that will take me forwards into something new. Reached a dead end now so if this week ends the year, next week is the start of another one and so far nothing is changing. At least once this week passes the current month long train strike should be at an end though I'm sure they'll be another one soon even though the fares will be going up too.
Working Monday and Tuesday then off, hopefully can pick up a few bits of shopping to get me through, got enough on Monday evening as was surprisingly paid a day earlier which helps, will grab some beers on Tuesday and I believe that Mrs H and Joe are out on Christmas day itself so I can have a bit of peace. Actually have a lot planned to do but at least it'll be done while no one else is about. Paid my bills, not got anything left again though January is a quiet month which is helpful I can at least try and get through that. Got home for Carols from Kings which was very nice and settled me down for Christmas Day itself, seem to have got a few bits from Jean which is nice and I also bought myself some new aftershave (Joop - nice one).
Christmas Day, try and have a lay in, should have the place to myself so be busy. Get plenty done, listening to music and podcasts too then dinner was sorted later on after listening to the traditional Queen Christmas message at 3pm. Afternoon and evening nicely chilled, am fine today so far.
Boxing Day, ok watched the horse racing and followed Wombles 2-1 away win against Bristol Rovers, however still feeling really low and struggling, do not know where to turn now and have four weeks to survive. living on the edge of defeat all the time now and I really hate myself.
Rest of the week I have been out and got new travelcard for the month ahead, no money, paid bills, and praying life will be better soon.
Right then, lets survive this week with the trains still on strike. Still no money but hopefully enough to get you through to next Tuesday, we still need another gift for Mrs Hughes though but we are nearly done. Monday was a bit rough, for several reasons, the train journey in still rubbish, and slowly got things done today. Then heard the news in the afternoon that Nick had passed away over the weekend, bit of a surprise as he wasn't ill that we were aware of but seems to have been a sudden heart attack and passed in the night. Will await funeral/wake info though it's also meant cancelling this Wednesday out but really that is fine with me due to lack of money. Tuesday will see if we can have a better day and begin to pick up bits for Christmas, do have a plan for Wednesday when I am off but it will not be much. Feel low, not far to go and we'll be through for this year. Written a birthday card for Sarah to post this week too and I hope she enjoys a nice time this year.
One more week to go this year now, still train strikes, see how you do though. Think about what changes can be made for next year.
Last few weeks of the year, need to survive two more till paid, and each week will have more train strike's to endure but also have Wednesday's off work to rest and finish my Christmas shopping and sending cards. Written a few to go out on Monday morning but still need to write and send ones for Graham, Pam, Vicki. Couple of gifts sorted for Mrs H, still need M&S card, some chocs but we can sort that out soon. Monday managed to get the slow train in but coming home was rough, Tuesday was up so early that I went in on the tube from Hatton X but at least it was done. Having the day off on Wednesday and have written a number of cards, still need to get a few more plus some more stamps but at least I can afford this (just about). Wednesday was fine, although the journey wasn't much fun to begin with I did manage to pick up the vast majority of things I needed today and have written more cards to post out so that is nearly done also have three gifts now for Mrs Hughes so just one more and we are sorted there too. However very little money again but maybe enough to get me through till paid although what do I do for Christmas Day and holiday is still very much up for grabs. I don't have much and part of me kind of doesn't really care either as it's just another day off and hopefully a lay in. Made it to the weekend, with a Wimbledon win 2-1 in the league and watching some films. That's all for now. x
Monday (2nd Dec) sees the start of a month long series of train strikes, so getting in and out every day is going to be rough, will see how today goes though. As expected it was not fun, took the busy all stations train via Hounslow only because it was running late already, coming back home having left early for the 4:50 train it was almost full and I got there with plenty of time. Note to self can now use last couple of carriages of the 10 coach trains as Feltham have started using the full length of the new platforms. Tuesday much the same although the journey home a little easier than Monday was. During the day though work was bit pooh, more live issues that I don't understand, couldn't get very much done myself. Sadly losing it now and we still have a long month to go. Wednesday was much the same, trying to get things progressed but at the end of the day didn't feel like I'd got very far, did pick up a few bits on way home which might help the weekend (crumpets and cheese a favourite). Terrible day Thursday almost in tears on the way home and the travel is getting worse. Feel I got nothing done again then so fed up I lose another fifty quid that I cannot afford.
Received first few Christmas cards, nice one from Phil and Maria, so have written letter and will send card off to them over the weekend, perhaps write a few but not planning on sending many this year. See how your weekend turns out, you need a quiet but productive one. Please X
Week begins being paid, which is going to have to take us through the month and cover Christmas as not paid till Xmas Eve next. Spent a lot of it already, will have to send cards and sort out Mrs H gifts (kind of in hand) and then we are good. Just some wine and nibbles for me will suffice this time around. Monday very bad, not going to be easy this week, at least some news about the bridge partially reopening on Sunday perhaps but with train strikes starting on 2nd December it's still not great. Hopefully Tuesday can be a little better, guess what ... it wasn't.
Thought I was going to be given a peaceful weekend as Mrs H supposed to be going with Joe and kids to Vince and Ciara's but by Wednesday this is all cancelled so will be another quiet weekend instead. Did at least write cards for Sue, James and Hannah to post to Australia this week to get there for Christmas and birthdays all done. Have a couple more birthdays to do before then and then we will probably not do much else but I will feel guilty so instead will make sure I send to family (Jo, Keith, Margaret and maybe the likes of Kate, Sarah, Julia x)
Struggled at work, letting too much get to me, no sign of my pay rise either, and next week the trains are on strike for the month so that will be awful I know. My friend Mark said farewell to his mum today, so I should know how he's feeling and let that put my temporary issues into perspective. Try and have a better weekend.
