2020 DIARY WEEK FORTY THREE 19th OCT - 25th OCT

Working at home on Monday and Tuesday again, there have been changes to the "rules" but still not quite the full lockdown we experienced earlier in the year. Monday then, enjoy the lay in, get stuck into some work, also plan the week ahead. Should survive till Friday when paid and then need to start sorting out some bills, gifts for birthdays and Christmas, at least have got a few cards and ideas so if we sort most of that early on we will be fine. This Monday will try and get out lunchtime, need some bits and pieces for myself and lunch of course, have got some beers and Guinness for tomorrow and just enough money to survive till weekend. 

Was all looking good for the gaming session on Tuesday too, lots of people off this week and I am having Wednesday off myself, so far don't seem to have much planned for it but hopefully can get something done. Awake in the early hours of Tuesday morning, Channel 5 have NFL on but seems I'm developing a cough, hope it goes away. Lacking enthusiasm for anything today, got a meeting too, and haven't been that engaged in these at present, after a positive start it quickly turned dark again. Still not enjoying the gaming sessions, though Hayden was great tonight I was just unable to feel involved, it's not a team effort at all, would rather have got some more rest shall have to see how we are next week but this doesn't fill me with joy the way the others do. Wednesday I have the day off and although the lay in was welcome it's a wet and bleak day out there so going out doesn't really appeal, however I don't have much in for dinners, so I think I'll try and get out later to pick up dinners. Turned out to be another bad day for me, so thinking about working at home on Thursday and trying to regroup, plus I really need to go out shopping today too. Hopefully you will feel better soon enough. Updating other blogs for Cheltenham meetings on the weekend, plus there's football on Saturday then the FA Cup 1st round draw to create a page. Read up on the D&D items that Hayden has sent through, and hopefully you can find some way to enjoy next weeks session better than the last one. **** idiot, another month with NOTHING I really hate you, there is no end to your stupidity, dark thoughts now, I have no idea how to survive. 

End this now. I'm so tired of it all I want to go home x

2020 DIARY WEEK FORTY TWO 12th OCT - 18th OCT

Another week begins where we have taken Monday and Tuesday off so please try and find something useful to do with that time. Monday we have an early appointment at the NHS Clinic in the centre to do the annual eye scan, as there are no local buses H26 for the next four weeks will have to walk it but will try and pick up a few things for today. Wasn't anyone else waiting so got it'll all done and over with, eyes are a bit blurred but we are ok, picked up some bits and lunch too and caught the 117 bus back home, having to walk down from Hounslow Road makes for an additional 15 minute walk each way. Home and try to rest with other blogs to be updated, also need to put away a few items. Peaceful afternoon listening to podcasts and plenty of music through to the evening leading us into Tuesday which is another planned day off this week. Don't really have anything set up for this one, but hopefully a nice lay in, which I did till about 11am then will have a quiet day after a nice long soak in the bath. Received few items ordered from Amazon, including 2021 diary insert so will begin to update that. Have updated other blogs for racing and football this weekend, will need to do some work on Dad's trains one too over the weekend and publish new entry for Chiltern Green. Mentioned the gaming night later tonight see how we get on with that too then it's back to office on Wednesday and unsure if buses are running or not. Walked up to station in morning and was able to get a bus to the drive stop on way home so not too bad just very confusing information and it could well change again by tomorrow. Update other blogs tonight and levelled up my mage in the roll playing games, then try and have a rest. Thursday was a similar day with an early start and a walk up to station, caught train in fine and had breakfast. Liz in today which is always helpful to me, and we were able to wish Claire well too as she came in to say goodbye to her team. Got a few things on way home (missed bus) and updated other blogs for the weekend. Hopefully Friday will pass by fine and David is leaving us so we wish him well with whatever his new venture is. I slept a little better but still feeling very upset and moody with myself, need the weekend to try and rest and recover. Ascot races on Saturday and AFC Wimbledon playing Shrewsbury Town too which will be covered on a separate blog post. Get yourself through the next week, in the meantime keep well, have some rest and try to relax.

2020 DIARY WEEK FORTY ONE 5th OCT - 11th OCT

A week of frustration for me, starting with Monday and Tuesday working at home, then once back to office on Wednesday need to pay a visit to the Bank and deposit funds for this week. So go easy on yourself, have a peaceful week if you can and even try and get back into the gaming sessions on Tuesday. Won't be easy, with things on my mind, but there is horse racing on Monday (Pontefract) and Wednesday (Kempton) which will also keep us occupied. Let's start with Monday and see how things go from there, no money, little bit on cards, could go out and pick up a few bits for me and lunch as well. Did that, and have few bits for lunch too, will need to get the bank deposit sorted really before I feel better but did get £20 back to account which will be a small help too. If I can muster another £20+ in the coming week from the usual freebies offered that will help. Monday night nothing much, have a good evening and plan for Tuesday and see how that goes for you. Struggling with work stuff as nothing seems to work for us, been out again and picked up few things for me and lunch. Meetings for the afternoon then get ready for the Tuesday night gaming session, hopefully better than last week, well it was slow going for sure but plenty of laughs in there too and though I was completely worn out at the end was fun. Slept to about 4:30am as a result, though not looking forward to Wednesday it is important as I need to reach the Lloyds Bank on borough high street. Did the banking, all good, and the rest of Wednesday and into Thursday felt a little better too. Loads of work, new people, releases keeping us busy. 

Thursday itself, nice to see Liz, and missed seeing Sara too so have sent her an email to say hello. Nice exchange of messages with Jane too which is unexpected as we are hardly close friends but she's being nice and that's all you need to know about that. Moved towards Friday and hopefully having a better weekend, working at home Friday again and the annoying part is that for the coming four weeks there are no local bus services so will have to walk to Assembly Halls on way in and it's a 30-40 minute walk on the way home so shopping will be an issue as cannot really lug loads of stuff back. Might try and go to local Tesco here and get few bits but at the moment I do have enough for the weekend and most of next week. Afc Wimbledon playing Swindon this weekend and there is also F1 on Channel 4, and some horseracing too on ITV. Thankfully I did have a little success on Thurs/Fri so can play up on dogs and do some racing/football if I can. Then have a peaceful and productive weekend and plan days off too. Lost most of that money so quiet week but enough funds to get us through the next fortnight and paid, also have birthday cards for friends children and will need to use some cash for that. Try and have a productive weekend.

2020 DIARY WEEK FORTY 28th SEPT - 4th OCT

Another week, this time we begin with two more days off on Monday and Tuesday. Need to rest, sleep and stop wasting all my money, looks like another month with very little again. Get out my rent money and pay that, check on Wednesday that we have enough to get through, paid bills and pray you can be fine. Money to Oyster for the week ahead and we move into October so this year is rattling through fast now that the evenings are getting darker early. Much colder too so thankfully I have a new jumper, might get another if I can. Go out on Monday probably just going into Feltham for money and few supplies, then on Tuesday plan to get buses into Kingston and get rent out, something for me and looking for Birthday / Xmas cards especially ones to post over to Australia. As expected though have lost all my money and nothing saved away this month, what a pleb you are indeed. Not sure how it can get any worse for you, just have to keep trying one day at a time. Tonight is the weekly gaming night so hopefully I can pick myself up for that. 

Sadly not, couldn't follow what on earth they were up to and dropped out about an hour in for the good of my health. Clearly the loss of funds is having a massive impact on my well being. Not the first time I've been in this place, so just listening to the podcasts from the boxing guys, and downloaded something new from BBC Sounds about Happiness and see if these help in anyway shape or form. The gaming is usually fine but simply wasn't for me tonight. Decided to use Wednesday to work from home as not very well. See if I can recover a bit and cheer up. Money still an issue, but hopefully can get by. Hardly a successful day but bit of a chat with the guys around the gaming and maybe I will be able to return on Tuesday. Still feel poorly so another day Thursday working at home, try and get out to pick up a few things later on. Did go out, have dinners for the next few days, but the money situation keeps getting worse, even when you thought you had a win it lasted about 10 minutes, you will be well done next week so resolve that and behave. The weekend has football for AFC Wimbledon hosting Accrington Stanley but not much else in store for us so will be updating train blogs and listings. Friday I am not sure what I am doing but expect to work at home again and just get through it somehow. Actually turned out to be a better day than expected with a good turn around for me, sent messages to various friends and hopefully turned a corner for the time being. Covered some bits for the weekend football and see how that turns out. Be good x.