2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY 19th JULY - 25th JULY

Will need to survive this week with the heat, and hopefully getting paid on Friday too. It's Joseph's 50th so have a card and get some lotto too for him on Friday and leave at home. We start on Monday with the so called 'freedom day' and although masks still needed on public transport will see if we can begin to stop using them, also social distancing begins to relax, although still working at home as work will not change their plans till end of July at the earliest? So let's see how Monday is for us, can we get any sleep, well the simple answer there would be 'nope' up from about 2am today and feeling rough. Didn't do much today, too warm, but we made it through and if we get past midweek it should slowly get a little easier. See if you can get any rest at all tonight then into Tuesday which will see start of a new sprint and also a gaming session in the evening. Not much sleep, feel rough still and will try and get out briefly this morning for some supplies, then a nice relaxing bath before the gaming session with the guys tonight, the session was good, although very tired still and did only get couple of hours rest. Might see some storms later this afternoon / early evening which might be nice, yes they came about 5pm. How do we feel into Wednesday now? Bit better but do fancy bailing out on the days in the office if I can. Spoken with Derek as he's leaving but generally another bad day though, losing money ... this is not changing, and too hot, so have bailed out of Thursday so not travelling into office. What a terrible day and another month of misery ahead, why you keep doing this to yourself I cannot understand but clearly you have a massive problem to overcome this next month will be another struggle. Still it is done now so you have to get on with it, not working in office today again, feel very rough, need to improve on Friday and get out too well we did get out today, which was something but the rest of the day was really poor again. Nine years since Dad passed away too and nothing I have done in the past few days would have been considered respectful really. What I do now the rest of the year might define what happens for the remainder of my life. 

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY NINE 12th JULY - 18th JULY

So did it come home? No it did not !

Losing on penalties hurts more this time in a final, we didn't create enough and Italy were the better side after they recovered from going 1-0 down in two minutes. Will just have to get my head down and get over the disappointment and have a good week. Not slept well into Monday and will need to get out this morning for some air and few bits in Tesco I think. Managed a quick run out, picked up some lunch too, demo later in morning and just rest if you can. Had plenty to do and then the evening just watched some Tv, making plans to go out on later in week, up from 3am on Tuesday morning, loads of meetings today and we will stay home today including lunchtime, with a gaming session later on tonight need some rest as currently feel very tired. All being well try and sleep better tonight and am off on leave Wednesday with a view to going out on the buses to Staines perhaps? Did go out but we didn't reach Staines at all, just picked up few bits locally and came home again. Not in the mood for traipsing about today, feet still sore and with little to no money I might as well just get some lunch and bits in for the week ahead. Should be okay now, will listen to music and podcasts to get through the afternoon, had a nice exchange online with Lee, and also guys regarding gaming sessions, but avoiding looking at work stuff for now. If we can get to Thursday and have a day working at home then we've a week to go till paid again, so try and survive. Awake from 3am again, it's warming up too so expect to struggle over the coming week sadly, stayed in and did plenty today with Liz and Amol off Friday will just need to do the stand up tomorrow, and a task for lunchtime. Expecting warmer weather in the coming week which might not help with the sleep but will see. Friday morning, was again up early, did the stand up call and a few bits of work, then went out lunchtime and got supplies for the weekend. It's warming up but nice breeze about which helped. Watch the British F1 Grand Prix this weekend, new sprint qualifying this time, first friendlies in football begin and our first game is about two weeks away. Afc Wimbledon hosting newly promoted Premier League Brentford having just signed one of their promising young forwards too, will be able to watch it on Brentford's YouTube channel from 3pm. It's beginning to come together.

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY EIGHT 5th JULY - 11th JULY

This could be a momentous week ahead, England breezed past Ukraine on Saturday 4-0 in Rome setting up a semi final against Denmark. The squad will be back at Wembley on Wednesday night to hopefully secure a place in the Final on Sunday 11th against either Spain or Italy who play their semi final on Tuesday night (Italy won on pens). Wimbledon continues this week too and we've a British interest still in the ladies draw, Emma Raducanu, only eighteen and awaiting her A Level results made it through to the second week of the tournament ranked 338th in the world and beat an opponent nearly 300 places higher. So how will Monday begin for us? Hopefully a good week to take my mind off my own issues. Well the final loan payment has gone through and the account shows as 'closed' so will give it a week and terminate the direct debit in my bank, but the prospects look good and therefore from end July I ought to have a few quid more for myself (if I don't blow it all as I usually do). I even won a few quid today which was nice, had enough out to help me through the week ahead and also allows me to send friend's son a birthday card which wasn't sure I could do before now. Good. Try and take this positive news forwards into Tuesday. Could have started better, was up a few times in the night, start of a new sprint at work and I'll aim to get out later this morning for some supplies, I will be off tomorrow and working at home the rest of the week. More tennis on later, plus a race meeting at Pontefract to update then tonight we have the first of the Euro 2020 semi finals between Italy and Spain, a victory on penalties for Italy who progress to the final on Sunday. Day off on Wednesday so have a lay in and then go out later in morning, we need a few things, not much, plus pick up some lunch too and maybe few beers locally before the football begins with England playing Denmark in the second of the semi finals. Been up since 4am, today needs to be different. Wasn't really very different, I been out locally, watched tennis and generally relaxed, nothing special. Struggled to watch the football at times, but we managed to scrape into the final on Sunday with a 2-1 extra time win. Sure to be plenty of hype till then. Hoping that Thursday will be a straightforward day, which it was I guess, though some drama unable to get into some of the testing sites, managed to muddle through though. Quiet evening, have dinner and watching Tennis with little to no money I need to have a quiet weekend too aside from the football. Friday, can we still work at home and pop out for some supplies and lunch. Did just that, try and relax over the weekend now and also some time on the gaming side to update my characters.

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY SEVEN 28th JUNE - 4th JULY

New week, add money to Oyster to get you through the month, no money all sad, think we will struggle again this week until end July. Paid rent and bills, so just try your best. Low esteem and need something good to happen soon, might be able to survive this month, but only if I can come up with a plan to affect the future. So just how bad will it feel Monday to begin the week, I think I've loads of work on which should help and there are blogs for early part of the week to publish and then update, only once we reach Thursday/Friday will the picture be clearer. Monday then, up since about 3:30am, not the best start and a very grey/wet day out there this morning. Crack on with work, keep busy and try not to worry so much, which didn't really work out at all, very bad still. Had the tennis on and the football was thrilling so lets hope that today is okay too and that England can see off Germany later today on Tuesday which they did 2-0 to progress. Found enough to do, still worried about money but cannot do much about that till later, have created a top up to my Oyster card and will pick that up tomorrow, watching football now. Wednesday how do we feel, well you sorted the money out and that's all you got for this month. Popped out and picked up few bits for the week, then packed up laptop to head into office on Thursday and Friday this week. Up early on Thursday and headed into office, caught early train and sat with Liz, quite a few in today which was rare. Picked up few things on way home for tea, and we'll aim to see if we can do much on Friday too. While today hasn't been brilliant we are just about seeing it through, football on tonight (Belgium 1-2 Italy on later) and pick up few things on way home again. Italy won 2-1 in a poor game loads of fouls and play acting, they will face Spain who won on penalties against the Swiss. I now need a quiet weekend so I can whittle down the days till I have some money again. Do have dinners, make up pasta batch cooking and hopefully next week will be nicer to me. England vs Ukraine on Saturday night for a place in the semi finals of the Euro 2020 ended with a 4-0 win for us and we'll entertain Denmark on Wednesday next week in the semi finals.