This week we are really looking forward to the wedding of my dear friend Neil Fenwick and his partner [soon to be wife] Juliet Dimmock. Congratulations guys.
We had kicked off this week with the conclusion of Royal Ascot which was very enjoyable even without the betting aspect as I was having a bit of a sabbatical there, finding winners and sharing them with friends was nice to see someone profit anyway.
Of course then we had "Fathers Day" on Sunday and I don't need another reminder or reason to remember my Dad but I've always considered it a bit of a fake day like all the others it's just there to drum up a bit of business ... basically if you are only going to remember your loved ones once a year when the high street retailers remind you too then you are not much of a person and your love is pretty fake. (rant #1 over).
Alas the week deteriorated for me, got paid, lost it all, back in the depths of despair for another month. I have a problem with Gambling, ok there I almost said it, but really it is not so much of a problem more of an addiction. Am trying to be better but it is really difficult when you have lived with it for so many years. All I can console myself with is the fact that it's only affecting me, and it's not as though I am damaging anyone else at the moment.
Time to address that situation and fix it.
Exercise your brain.
Exercising your brain can improve memory and reduce the risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, according to medical studies.
Challenge your brain by doing old routines in new ways.
• Brush your teeth with your other hand.
• Take a new route to work.
• Do crossword puzzles or other brain-teasers.
• Learn a new language.
• Learn a new computer programme.
• Practice or take up playing a musical instrument
Or just chill out in the field with the rest of the herd. Mooo x
On Friday we got underway with the EURO 2016 in Paris, hopefully this will help with the boredom of having nothing else to do until the new season starts again in August. An opening victory for the hosts 2-1 against Romania will keep them happy for a little while and distract them from the English "fans" smashing up their bars.
Failed to go out again on Friday night which is beginning to get on my nerves, though it shouldn't but that's my hang up I guess.
Saturday was the anniversary of my mother passing away (35 years, so long, so sad) and I made a trip to the crematorium which as people who know me well is a common occurrence. However this was a rare one that I actually sobbed and felt so much better for that.
The rest of Saturday was ok, I got plenty done at home and took my mind off things that bothered me and shouldn't be. A lovely chat with a friend from Germany about old times we had on the Isle of Man, be nice to see you again Beatrix maybe we'll have that Martini in London sometime.
Watched a bit of football, Wales winning 2-1 was nice for some of my friends, then had a drink watching England v Russia, a frustrating game and a disappointing 1-1 draw that means the game against Wales on Thursday is going to be unbearable to watch.
The rest of the week was spent back at work and following the racing at Royal Ascot, that was all covered on another blog of mine. And speaking of work the people in the office I share are all on a bit of a weight loss drive, and we're keeping track of one another's weight statistics there. This might just help things for me to have some more incentive to keep going, although their scales seem to give results a little on the high side for me but at least we'll stay consistent.
Am still finding it hard to get through some days but recently I have at least heard from a few friends and I know I have some support out there, what I need to do now is focus on what is important for me, get out there, stop wasting money and effort on things that do not really matter and above all look to have a bit of fun. The summer is a time to go out and visit some events, have a trip down to the coast perhaps in fact do anything that gets you out from your lonely room.
It's June, so when does summer show it's face?
Starting another week in optimistic mood for a change, enjoyed a good day Friday at work with a lot of things achieved and also hearing from a friend of mine to go see them next weekend.
Muhammad Ali [1942-2016]
RIP The Greatest.
2016 really is going to be remembered as the year we lost our most famous and greatest stars, none more so that 'THE Greatest' Muhammad Ali who passed away on Saturday morning aged 74. He had been suffering from a respiratory illness, a condition that was complicated by Parkinson's disease which he was diagnosed in the 1980s.
No doubt he was the most iconic figure of his generation, and possibly of all time, no one else will come close to achieving so much and with such charisma.
"It's a sad day for life, man. I loved Muhammad Ali, he was my friend. Ali will never die. Like Martin Luther King his spirit will live on, he stood for the world.'' - Don King, who promoted many of Ali's fights, including the Rumble in the Jungle.
"Muhammad Ali was one of the greatest human beings I have ever met. No doubt he was one of the best people to have lived in this day and age." - George Foreman, Ali's friend and rival in the Rumble in the Jungle.
Also on Saturday we followed the goings on down at Epsom Downs with the Epsom Derby the feature event on the card.
I managed to pick the winner Harzand (13/2) which was nice, and ensured a lovely bottle of wine was the order of the day / evening. Congratulations to Dermot Weld a trainer I follow over in Ireland (especially at the Galway Festival).
The rest of the week fairly uneventful, so looked at another in the series of self help pointers, this one looking at weight training and exercises.
Strength training exercises.
Strength training builds strong muscles and boosts your metabolism. It also improves balance and posture and helps to prevent bone loss.
It’s an ideal way for men and women to stay toned and fit. Experts agree that two evenly distributed sessions a week of strength training are enough to build and strengthen muscles.
It’s fairly easy to begin a programme at home. All you need are dumbbells (hand weights), ankle weights, and an exercise mat ... oh and some dedication / willpower.
Be careful not to strain your muscles, and check first with your doctor before beginning a strength training programme.
Yeah I'm Fine !
No I'm not, not really, haven't been fine for a long time, I'd give my right arm to be "fine" right now. Not been a great week so far, terrible weekend to start and just keep upsetting myself.
I know what the issue(s) is but continue to struggle with how to keep improving things as each week and month goes by. It's still a challenge and very up and down emotionally, all I want to do is keep hurting myself and yelling out, hoping that someone will hear but no one ever does. The person that is hurting me most (apart from me) doesn't know and I don't think they'd understand even if I told them. Love them so much and want the best for them even though that will not include or help me, so why can't I just let them go and get on with my life? I do not know the answer.
Still go to counselling, still upset myself regularly, it's June now and I so want to change things for the rest of the year.
At least Monday was better with AFC WIMBLEDON winning at Wembley 2-0 and securing a promotion to League One for next season, well done guys, that produced a lot of emotion again but in a good way so despite more tears I was very happy for a day.
Came back home and had to get ready for another week of work, looking at some of the literature I have from my counselling sessions I see that there are more things I can look at doing to help me feel better, not just getting out more and being safe;
Get those endorphins going.
Health experts call endorphins “feel-good hormones.”
Endorphins are natural chemicals released by the
brain that improve your mood, relieve pain, reduce
stress and produce an overall feeling of well-being.
They also help you sleep better. The easiest way to
get your body to release endorphins is to exercise.
Even a moderate workout eases tension and improves
mental and physical health. More vigorous exercise
really gets those endorphins going. The positive effect
of endorphins can last for several hours, according to
some endocrinologists.
Smile.
“You can be happier at work if you smile more, even if you have to fake it,” according to an article in the Harvard University Gazette.
Putting on a happy face has positive benefits both for you and the people around you. That’s true in personal and work
relationships.
Smiling makes everyone feel good.
• Smile at your manager and colleagues.
• Smile when you walk in the door and greet
your partner or flatmate.
• Smile when you talk on the phone to your parents.
• Try it right now! Smile and notice how it makes you
feel more relaxed and cheerful.
We had kicked off this week with the conclusion of Royal Ascot which was very enjoyable even without the betting aspect as I was having a bit of a sabbatical there, finding winners and sharing them with friends was nice to see someone profit anyway. 
