WEEK TWENTY TWO 28/05 -- 03/06

Yeah I'm Fine ! 

No I'm not, not really, haven't been fine for a long time, I'd give my right arm to be "fine" right now. Not been a great week so far, terrible weekend to start and just keep upsetting myself. 




I know what the issue(s) is but continue to struggle with how to keep improving things as each week and month goes by. It's still a challenge and very up and down emotionally, all I want to do is keep hurting myself and yelling out, hoping that someone will hear but no one ever does. The person that is hurting me most (apart from me) doesn't know and I don't think they'd understand even if I told them. Love them so much and want the best for them even though that will not include or help me, so why can't I just let them go and get on with my life? I do not know the answer. 

Still go to counselling, still upset myself regularly, it's June now and I so want to change things for the rest of the year. 

At least Monday was better with AFC WIMBLEDON winning at Wembley 2-0 and securing a promotion to League One for next season, well done guys, that produced a lot of emotion again but in a good way so despite more tears I was very happy for a day. 

Came back home and had to get ready for another week of work, looking at some of the literature I have from my counselling sessions I see that there are more things I can look at doing to help me feel better, not just getting out more and being safe;

Get those endorphins going.
Health experts call endorphins “feel-good hormones.”

Endorphins are natural chemicals released by the
brain that improve your mood, relieve pain, reduce
stress and produce an overall feeling of well-being.
They also help you sleep better. The easiest way to
get your body to release endorphins is to exercise.
Even a moderate workout eases tension and improves
mental and physical health. More vigorous exercise
really gets those endorphins going. The positive effect
of endorphins can last for several hours, according to
some endocrinologists.

Smile. 

“You can be happier at work if you smile more, even if you have to fake it,” according to an article in the Harvard University Gazette. 





Putting on a happy face has positive benefits both for you and the people around you. That’s true in personal and work
relationships. 

Smiling makes everyone feel good.
  • Smile at your manager and colleagues.
  • Smile when you walk in the door and greet
your partner or flatmate.
  • Smile when you talk on the phone to your parents.
  • Try it right now! Smile and notice how it makes you
feel more relaxed and cheerful.