2017 PART SEVENTEEN 22/04 -- 28/04

Each week is just feeling as bad as the last now, where has the positivity from the beginning of the year gone? Why can't I stop myself from this endless downward spiral? Is this the start of the end now? 

This entry was supposed to take me up to my week off and celebrations of my birthday, but with that now looking like a week off staying at home cos I've not a penny to my name I will be surprised if I can get through this week unscathed. It's only money, it's just the way it's being wasted now. Going out to Ascot with my brother, well I need to go and at least give them some tickets for that meeting and also for another day out planned to Sandown Park racecourse, but as I write this my thoughts are only about going, and leaving about an hour in. Whereas at the start of the year I had hopes of saving money to enjoy the whole week and both meetings, how things have changed for the worst now. 

My week kicked off badly as you might have sensed, was going to see my friend last weekend and bailed out, she was not happy and fingers crossed we aim to put that right and go see them tomorrow. (Sat)




Been down to the Crematorium again recently and shall certainly pay a visit during my time off next week. Where else we go will really depend on two things, a) my mood b) affordability. So anything FREE will certainly get a look in. I feel a trip to places like Richmond, Hampton Court on the buses will be on the agenda just to get down by the riverside and think for a while. 


Monthly goals and updates - end April
As per last year we will take regular measurements of my stats and see that we are making inroads to our goals for this year too. Am not doing well as this first quarter has quickly gone by and feeling awful too so must try and use the week off I have booked for next week to feel better and able to crack on with some swimming and more exercise during 2017.

Opening Weight at 1st Jan 2017 -- 22st 5lb
Measurements (inches)
Neck -- 21
Chest -- 52
Stomach -- 56
Waist -- 46
Thighs -- 24
Biceps -- 17


Current Weight at end April 2017 -- 22st 0lb
Measurements (inches)
Neck -- 20 (-1)
Chest -- 52
Stomach -- 52 (-4)
Waist -- 45 (-1)
Thighs -- 24
Biceps -- 17

Will update this again in early June and try to set some further goals looking ahead towards July-Aug.

2017 PART SIXTEEN 15/04 -- 21/04

Enjoying the four day weekend over Easter, was given a nice surprise of a big Easter Egg where I usual go without so that was a pleasant start. 

Do hope you are having an excellent Easter break too. 

Saturday and Sunday were nice and quiet though, resting and doing all my housework, all cleaned and tidy and therefore ready for another week of work. 

Also needing to not spend any money as we are fairly broke until payday this Friday (today hopefully). 

The ambition now will be to get through the next week which will take me up to my Birthday and that gives me a week off to enjoy and go out with my Brother and family. 

Easter Monday spent the morning down at the Crematorium Garden which was very quiet and peaceful, plenty of animals there too and a pleasant time to sit and think. Found some peaceful moments really do help and although doesn't immediately solve anything at least I got out and about for a little while. 

Football on in the afternoon following AFC Wimbledon scraping another dull 0-0 draw at home, just the two games left for this season but we are safely in mid table and continue to improve our position under manager Neal Ardley. 

Need to reconnect with a few friends soon, but most importantly have a good few days off after next week and go out for my birthday. 

Interested to read what Prince Harry had to say on the subject of grief and the loss of his Mum, regardless of who you are and whatever you think of the Royals he was a 12 year old boy suddenly finding his mother removed from his life. That's something I can relate to although the circumstances are entirely different of course, the fact that neither of us dealt with it for about 20 years after the event and are now able to talk about it openly I think he should be applauded for speaking up and all the work that he and William do for mental health charities using their position to make it headline news. Let's hope that there will be more resources made available to help the people that need it most, young and old alike. 

2017 PART FIFTEEN 08/04 -- 14/04

The week that leads us up to the Easter Holidays. 

Friday off, a lazy day at home, no Easter eggs and chocolate for me? Although it's nice to be off for a few days and rest. 



The start of this week was a busy day of sport, and it was lovely and sunny too though I don't like that as much now. Got a few bits in for lunches and dinner and then able to settle down and watch the F1 qualifying from China, and while the regular football scores came through I was able to enjoy the thrills and spills at Aintree for the Grand National meeting where for the first time in ages I've NOT had a single bet. 



Well done to jockey Derek Fox, trainer Lucinda Russell and most importantly the horse (who did most of the work) ONE FOR ARTHUR. 




The week will progress as usual but no money and things that have to be done (birthdays, presents, Easter holidays) I really just need to get through and see it off. 

Think I am moving location within the office, not a big deal really but I was rather comfortable where I was.


Been a struggle to come to terms with the last few weeks, and this one was just as rough although it did at least only mean four days at the office. 

Even so, it's the Easter Break, try and rest, enjoy the time off and make the most of what you can achieve. Good chance to have a big clear out and tidy around. 

2017 PART FOURTEEN 01/04 -- 07/04

Welcome to April.

A quarter of the year gone by already and we doing badly. So lets try and change it up a little this month ... nope that didn't start well either. 

Saturday just another bad start to the week, losing another £100 that I just don't have, and then worse news to follow that a planned night out to a really lovely friend of mine was cancelled. Now if I am really honest I was never in the best of minds to go out but it still makes me feel sad that I get cancelled and there's something in the back of my messed up mind that thinks they simply got a far better offer. 

Either way I am at home, alone, as usual listening to music and comedy trying to feel better. The few bottles of chilled cider I have in the fridge too might help later on but there's a dark cloud around me again and the next three to four weeks are going to be very hard work I fear. 

A day of training at work to kick off the working week which wasn't as bad as I had initially feared, and meeting the development team who are from the Netherlands was a pleasure. All things being well the week will pass through without much fuss and I can get a bit closer to some sort of normality (whatever that is). 

Latter part of the week have not been feeling very well at all, bloated and feeling full of trapped wind, almost like indigestion but filled with upset stomach and headaches too. Will try and bear it out as best I can. 

Have a good week. There will be another one along soon.