2017 PART TWENTY FIVE 17/06 -- 23/06

Difficult week, been working over the weekend too with releases and migrations onto new servers taking place during the evenings on Sat/Sun. I don't seem to find the words to explain how I feel, although I found this on a support page and it sums up things rather well. The difficulty being that there's a big BBQ bash on Saturday down at a friends house and I've no way of going nor does my anxiety allow me to contemplate attending it. 

So of course I didn't go, which is a big shame as Mark Chiddington is over with his family from Australia and yet still I can't find the strength to go. Though I really hope they are having a great time in the sun and the BBQ host is keeping everyone well fed and watered. Am praying there are loads of photo's later too but for me it's just a bit more work, feeling too hot and trying to plan something nice for next week. 

Sunday was of course Fathers Day, another day remembering my later Father, though I don't stop remembering and every day he's on my mind. Maybe that's the reason I am so messed up, I cannot let go or move on it's just a slow march to the end of my life whenever that might be. 

This week has also been Royal Ascot and although busy at work will find the time to watch as many of the bigger races as possible. Looking to have Thursday and Friday off though and will watch the meeting and all the pomp on the TV. It's so warm this week that I can't see myself getting out very far. 

Try your best to enjoy the week, the heat might mean less sleep than usual (didn't think that would be possible) and use the days off wisely this time.