2017 PART THIRTY SEVEN 09/09 -- 15/09

Still struggling mentally with the next month ahead, I have to look at the positive situation that I still seem to have a job, still have a roof over my head, still got enough to get by and it's the smaller things that worry me like having no company or support and the inability to even go out and see friends as the money isn't there and neither is the confidence to be ok. 

This week I am still off on Monday and Tuesday, but with no money and not really sure where to go or what to do. Have already been down to the Crematorium gardens last week and really want something different. If the weather isn't too foul it'll be Richmond and the riverside. Other than this it's going to be a quiet week for me, don't seem to have a future until end October really and that's on the assumption that I've still got a job and can sort out some money to get through. At this point in time that's a big IF.

Although I am very honest about my failings and given that I used to drink far too much than is healthy at least for the last year or so I have been virtually alcohol free. This is mostly self imposed as I've not been out anywhere nor having friends close by to go out and meet up with. But also at home while there is booze available, it is mostly untouched. When upset or angry I don't turn to drink anymore as demonstrated by the half full bottle of 12yo malt whisky that must have been there for well over a year now and the last beers I can recall buying were 2% citrus lagers and to be frank they still taste ok and I'm not going to be knocking back 8-10 of them as I used to do with pints of Stella Artois on a night out. 

Know the signs of problem drinking.
Problem drinking can begin early or late in life and doesn't just involve going to the pub each weekend, most people wouldn't see these as a problem. 

The signs of problem drinking include:
• Drinking to calm your nerves, forget your worries or reduce depression.
• Inability to stop drinking without a struggle after one or two drinks.
• Lying about or trying to hide drinking habits.
• Drinking alone.
• Having medical, social, work, financial or legal problems caused by drinking.

If you think you may have a drinking problem, seek help.
Talk to your doctor, LifeWorks, or contact a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous.