Got through last week, and this week is going be all about what happens on Wednesday, because that is the first monthly pay due from Croner-i Limited since they took us over from Wolters Kluwer. But before then we have the weekend to enjoy and although I haven't gone out far am enjoying the various sports on. Ascot hosts "Champions Day" and later on AFC Wimbledon will be hosting Plymouth Argyle with a chance to make it three wins on the bounce and hopefully start to move up the table. Alas that didn't happen and normal service has been resumed with a 0-1 loss to the bottom side and the meltdown on the fans forums has continued.
Saturday night watched the Formula 1 qualifying from Austin Texas home to the USA GP. With the race taking place on Sunday night though we will be watching the NFL Game from Twickenham which is the 3rd London Game between the LA Rams and the Arizona Cardinals (Sun 6pm)
Fingers crossed we are paid this week (Wednesday - yes we were) as I have a week off from then till the following Tuesday. Not a good start to the week off since I have really messed up my finances and will struggle again this month. Having a day out for a ride to Windsor the long way around but will blog that elsewhere, and there is a whole bunch of nothing else happening this month. Although we have a date in the diary for 1st December and a night out with the guys, but that aside I never do anything now apart from losing loads of money that I just do not have.
After planning this years thread as a "need for change" it is apparent that the only changes made have been for the worse. Have contemplated ended it all a few times and although the end of the year is nearly with us I really don't know what to do now.
Feeling very alone, so very alone.
So the weekend starts here, and although life at work has started to settle down and almost become enjoyable it's the home and personal life that continues to suffer. I start on Saturday having no real life, I go out briefly, get a newspaper and something for dinner, and then sit indoors listening to podcasts and a bit of the sport really does not feel like much of a way to live right at this moment and when you feeling low it's not nice to sit and read all your "friends" having a great time. Don't get me wrong am so pleased for them and their lives, they deserve it, I just find it making me feel worse and not even close to making me want to do anything positive about it.
Even following AFC Wimbledon winning 1-0 away at Northampton today doesn't really raise a cheer. I am not sure it can get any worse though.
Managed to muddle through the rest of the afternoon though.
So this week is all about survival and even then we are another five days away from being paid, and that's a worry since I've not a lot of faith in the way the new company have gone about this important process that affects us all. Am also expecting to be off for the week from next Wednesday, the plan was to go to Ireland and visit the Google offices but I panicked and bailed out of this trip now so instead am planning some days out and things to do while it's also half term. But as with everything at present it's all down to money and clearing some bills thus making space to do a few things. Not planning on going too far, but trips to Windsor and maybe into London are on the agenda.
In the meantime lets get the week out of the way and try to be a bit more brighter despite the weather being a bit pooh now.
Try and be a bit more Tigger!
Another exciting week where I've achieve very little and can't work my life out at all right now. Having survived the first week in the new company I now hope that it's beginning to settle down and we have access to all we need, the main test will be on pay day if they have sorted out our bank details (which they haven't as yet).
Another defeat for AFC Wimbledon losing 3-0 to Oxford and now haven't scored in the league for some while and in the bottom four, we have a relegation six pointer against Northampton Town next weekend and if we lose that I think manager Neal Ardley has to go. Northampton themselves are also struggling for form and were also thumped 6-0 last weekend by Bristol Rovers. However when teams are struggling they usually find the Dons a source of comfort and we fear the next few games with our toothless front line in need of a boost.
If the football wasn't bad enough (and I won't mention the England game it was that dire) then ill health is once more creeping up on me, I need to get away, cannot afford to, so instead will make a trip out tomorrow just to try and clear my mind a little. Had the Wednesday as a day off in lieu of the work we did on Sunday last week getting the company up and running the plan was to spend the morning down the Crematorium to have a bit of rest, or take the bus out to a park somewhere? I have no money so getting out anywhere else is unlikely, it's been like this for many months and I honestly don't see a way out.
Going to TRY and do another Parkrun soon, though the last one put me out of action for a few weeks but it could be the thing that I need.
New start, New Company. Now working for Croneri Limited though still in the same office building as before. Still change so far so good, free breakfast on Monday can't be bad.
The last weekend was a very mixed bag with no money, but going to see AFC Wimbledon at home to Rochdale which was a drab 0-0 draw and means that the Dons end the weekend in the relegation zone. Then on Sunday working in the office on and therefore missing the 2nd NFL Wembley game between the New Orleans Saints vs Miami Dolphins as a result. Should be able to catch most of the F1 in Malaysia as it starts at 7.30am on Channel 4. Sunday will probably be a long day at the office, we have a lot to do.
Looking forwards I need to be able to find enough to get bus pass and small amount for lunches to get through this month as well as using up supplies at home, probably having a few days drinking just water / juice which won't be a bad thing. And then I DO really want to get back and take part in another park run.
Strange feeling though, I still always feel upset, I've been through a lot worse than recent events and yet there's no end to the worry, stress and anxiety. I am NOT going to take tablets, I do want to be better but a cocktail of drugs and anti depressants is not the answer for me. It's October now, the next three months will be decisive, if I can change things through the darkness of Winter then there's a chance I can continue to improve through next year.
We will see.
In the meantime we lean towards The Rik Mayall for some inspiration.
And of course LOVE is the answer.
