2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY TWO 24th MAY - 30th MAY

Final week of May and will be able to enjoy a few days off later in the week, plus my more family birthday's including big brother Graham hitting 60!! Lost money again and this really has to STOP now please. You have no life, no joy, no money, it's awful. How will you cope for the next month again, I do now know the answer to this but will be a day by day thing. Should have funds on c/c to allow shopping but nothing left for birthdays or travel. Expecting work to keep applying pressure to return to office which I cannot afford to do right now, aim for Wednesday if you can begin and have enough on your Oyster card to accommodate this. Off couple of days end of this week so expect to go to Crematorium or Kingston and get out for a few hours at least. Sit down by the river, find some peace. Monday went out and posted cards for birthdays and nip into Tesco for a little shopping to get us through the week ahead. Then survived the afternoon with the various meetings that drag on, might even meet up with Liz on Friday, Kingston or Richmond will see what's best. Tuesday one of my pictures fell down and hope that is not an omen, still wet and windy outside so won't be going very far today. Evening will be another gaming session though the Sunday one this week is already called off. Managed a reasonably good day today so let us try and take that through to the rest of the week, enjoy tonight and see how you are Wednesday morning? Surprised that I did manage some sleep and up about 6am, also money situation has improved a bit for this month but you do still need to be careful and pay your way. Going out later this morning to pay rent and need to have something out for myself too, topped up Oyster card with another £40 today and news from work that they want us back in on Wednesday's so will begin that next week after the Bank Holiday. Arranged to meet with Liz on Friday at 11am in Richmond, so will have a ride out tomorrow to Kingston I think and get my bits and pieces there. Can put a little money aside for the month which is nice, and haven't had to touch the Draft funds, plus c/c have some scope too so all being equal we are going to be fine this month if we remain careful. Try and enjoy the evening with the Europa League final on Manchester United vs Villarreal, might be on live You Tube channel? Found that rather dull and failed to get any results in my favour, United losing on penalties against a team they should have easily beat. Then see how you feeling on Thursday morning which wasn't great up in the early hours and not as much money as I had hoped for, but we are still doing fine. Will go out later and get some cards, stamps and supplies for the weekend, ensure you can get to see Liz tomorrow. Rather an up and down day of it on Thursday but relax and see if you can get some rest into Friday.

(yay it's Friday) supposed to have been going out later this morning to meet Liz in Richmond and have a catch up, but not been very well overnight and had to bail out which was not great, so went back to bed for the morning and see how we doing later on. The day was not very good for me at all and very up and down, tried to call my brother too and they were all out, lost money, unsure if we will be fine this month again with four weeks to go, hopefully can resolve this. Though will be staying in for the long weekend I do need to find something to do off line that will keep us busy and able to rethink my plans for the coming month. Saturday just go for a walk locally, and level up my character for the gaming sessions.

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY ONE 17th MAY - 23rd MAY

Another new week and busy with work on the Accountancy Daily site, try and focus and get on with things, still no money which should have been better given the weekend but it's done now so simply get through the week ahead. Monday try and go out later today and get a few things in for myself, did that after the demo's at work, and although I see loads of people out in the pubs and gyms I still not really feeling great about it myself. Nothing to do with the virus, simply so used to being at home all day that I have anxiety just going out anywhere. So as I am due to be off for a few days next week I do need to get out somewhere even if it's just taking the buses or trains over to Kingston. Tuesday couldn't sleep again, so up till about 3am. Need to do something today and get through, gaming session tonight with guys, try and enjoy, Hayden's sessions are usually good fun, and it was fine, just nothing of great interest tonight, no variation and as a result really not finding a lot of joy in the sessions. See if we can sleep any better tonight then Wednesday shall see about going out shopping again, using up the gift card I received (done) home again have lunch and then the afternoon is more meetings and looking to take care of yourself. As usual no money, and will need to try and be better over the weekend too, try to get some rest tonight and see how you cope with Thursday morning, still very grey and cloudy out today, was going to pop out but will have to see about that. Too many long work meetings so didn't venture out today, will see about that on Friday if the weather improves as it's very windy and plenty of rain around. Made it out and picked up sufficient supplies for the weekend ahead. Had a far better evening than expected and in a much safer place with the money situation now looking okay as we hit the weekend. The weekend will also see plenty of sporting action F1, Horse racing and the final few Football games of the season, then in a couple of weeks we've The Derby at Epsom and the start of the Euro Championships which were supposed to be held last year. Fucked up my money situation again and will now have next to nothing for the coming month. I really do hate myself but cannot find anyway to STOP this situation continuing to get worse every month is the same now. 😠

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY 10th MAY - 16th MAY

Monday and the start of another week, will be a busy one workwise, I need to crack on and see this week out. Still very stressed about money situation as I fear I've made a huge mistake, will check that once Wednesday has passed, hopefully can survive. Have plenty of work/meetings for the first few days which will keep us occupied, need to go out and pick up some more lunch/dinners too later in the week, nothing very exciting scheduled this period so just try and keep occupied. Birthday cards for Andy and Phil to post out later this week, then it's my older brother Graham 60th end of May. Long meetings on Monday but got over these and will see if I can rest tonight. Then Tuesday I need to also get through the new sprint and retro which is another few hours of my afternoon. Try and nip out to Tesco and get myself a few bits including lunch, will go out end of the week as well if we can. Small power cut this afternoon interrupted things but we muddled through and then into the evenings gaming session with guys. Very tired again, managed only a few hours of sleep, but awake to check money situation on Wednesday morning and delighted that original fears turned out to be less dramatic so we should be fine till next pay day. Wish Lee a happy birthday later, try and have a good day too. Sadly the day was a bit more traumatic than first planned, marketing and management putting their oar in. Think we got it moving though, try and have a peaceful night instead. Written a couple of birthday cards to post out on Thursday, see if I can go out then too. Didn't manage to get out so will aim to do that on Friday instead, still loads of negative thoughts and no money again. Managed about four hours sleep into Friday morning, hopefully can have a better end to this week. Been out though and posted cards plus picked up some shopping for the weekend what I need to do now is survive the next week ahead so what can I do to stop being online all the time.

2021 DIARY WEEK NINETEEN 3rd MAY - 9th MAY

Bank Holiday Monday begins our week, having enjoyed most of the time off for my birthday last week we are now back to a normal few days of worry and stress. Monday will have to be relatively quiet, sort out the money I need to deposit tomorrow, and try to get a few trains out to run around? Managed four hours sleep which is a little more than usual, will try and get down for another try shortly. Later today should nip out for few bits including lunch, write up Dads blog post for next weekend and see what else you can do today. Still not doing well with the money side of things, I hope / pray that I will be fine this month but really it's not great. Tuesday, need to sort some work out and then go to Bank and get that solved (Done), pick up some lunch and have a peaceful afternoon. Gaming session again in the evening with the guys, hopefully beginning to have a bit more fortune this week and feel better. I have created other blogs for myself and Dad so we are on track given it's still the first week of the new month hopefully that will continue. The evening session gaming didn't fare well for us, I bailed out in the final half hour, lost money, struggling now. Got about three hours sleep into Wednesday morning and see how you go now. Liz and I have both submitted to return to the office on Wednesdays in future, that would be nice once a week, plus would give us back around £200 in travel costs on a regular basis, will see how that pans out. The evening listening to music and Chelsea reaching the Champions League final against Manchester City, but generally quite upset. At least I got some sleep in the end, so Thursday will see if we can improve a little, prospects don't see so bad thus far, but really need to get through the weekend before we see how we actually stand. Voting day too, will go out later and pop round local polling booth, done that and back home, trying to have a better afternoon and evening. Slept a bit better up once, but got at least 4+ hours sleep. Friday morning was ok, check money fine, won a bit too and should be just about on track for the rest of the month as long as you are not stupid (think). Been out to Tesco for the weekend shopping using the gift card and can use the rest next time, have enough coffee, shaving gel and few dinners too so did very well I think. Hopefully we shall enjoy the weekend too, rest, recover, and football / gaming night later to join the guys. Saturday watch the horse racing and F1 qualifying too with the Spanish Grand Prix on Sunday evening (highlights). Got to make it through the next two weeks and I will be better. Take care of you.

2021 DIARY WEEK EIGHTEEN 26th APR - 2nd MAY

Nice week here with only two days at work on Monday and Tuesday after which we are off for the rest of the week, would usually have been going to Ascot but not this year, and on Friday it's my birthday (52) so arranging some things for me which will include a ride down to Brighton on Thursday for a change of scenery if nothing else. Did not really begin well on Monday, although work was ok, usual bunch of meetings and stuff, I keep losing money, not even sure I can cover this one but will have to check later in the week. Been out and paid rent, plus picked up some supplies for next few days which is nice. Busy updating blogs for Ascot and Pontefract (Wed) plus we have a busy weekend ahead after my birthday, so lets see if we can survive into Tuesday before enjoying some days off. not going too well in the early part of the week, hopefully things may improve soon. Well as things turned out I wasn't as bad as I expected so will be able to 'enjoy' the gaming session with the guys later and then have some days off Wed-Fri as well as the long weekend. Let's see how the evening goes, with AFC Wimbledon also playing tonight, and will I get any sleep? Wednesday will tell, some sleep better than recent nights anyway, busy day going out to get some birthday cards for the coming month and some stamps, lunch and home. Sadly lost load of money this afternoon and that means going out tomorrow looks unlikely now, will have to pay in some money soon to cover shortfall again, sad. Still will just have a quiet day, long lay in, go to Crematorium perhaps, no rush to come home, then update weekend's blogs and find something to do. So Thursday, realising that I have messed up again this month I had a change of heart and stayed in bed most of the morning, only surfacing to get some blogs written up for the weekend, and will try and go out on Friday instead. Shame but that's my life right now I guess. Try and improve please, though not as disastrous as last month, take small steps forward, you need to be nice to yourself. Friday the last of this week's days off and of course MY BIRTHDAY so please go out and get something for yourself i.e. nice bottle wine or something for dinner later on perhaps?