Still really anxious, I tried writing down my thoughts and just made things worse, no money, no friends, no interest in anything else that's going on out there. On top of all this I still can't sleep, I have aches and wounds that bleed all the time it's just not fair, and all those that do care and try to help really don't have a clue, it's not as easy as "cheer up".
How does someone so low manage to turn it around?
Really just seems like I am existing, not living, just carrying on for no reason. What's it all about.
Am struggling to even take heart from others that seem to be having a great time, there are no small wins any more. This blog was never meant to be about me feeling so awful, the intention was to be positive and pick up on the good things, but as I want to write as honestly as possible then this week at least there has been nothing positive to say.
Didn't want much out of life
Not bothered about marriage, kids, and all that crap
Just wanted to be happy, occasionally
Clearly that's not going to happen
Depression and ill health sucks
Death will be such a welcome release
#killmenow
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