Writing this one up to New Year Eve so that we can start 2018 anew. What a truly terrible twelve months that has been, I mean don't misunderstand me it was all of my own making and even the start to New Year doesn't look that inspiring either but we are still here and breathing so small wonders I guess.
At least Christmas went off ok, I was home alone on the big day itself but that was fine and was expected, did a nice dinner, had a drink or two, listened to some music and watched a few films (after the Queen speech of course). Seen that all my family and many friends have had a great time and that's wonderful, I still don't feel great and unsure if I'll be around this time next year. Yeah I know I shouldn't say things like that but really thinking about life now and what is the point of me. Been out to meet up with my big Brother and had a few drinks in Twickenham, didn't have a lot to say but we are ok and that was nice to get out.
All said and done though I am glad that I got through this past year, and will continue to "try" and progress into 2018 too. Hope you have a good end to the year as well and let's see what happens in the next twelve months.
It's that last week before Christmas and are we ready? At least all the Christmas cards are sent out, we got a few last minute gifts to pick up (today) and then it's booze and food for the weekend. I think we'll be ok this year, it's not a big deal for me anymore. Did go out for an annual service of remembrance on Sunday at the local Catholic Church, despite the weather it was warm inside, friendly, bit of a sing too but the poor sod coughing behind me all the way through spoilt it a bit. Seriously if you are ill please stay at home.
The lead up to Xmas itself means two things, one we need to get in a load more food and drink than is usually required for a few days, and secondly we have ten days off till New Year and that will mean I will be bored by the Wednesday usually. but the set up to the week has been going well, we've done all the cards, been to the services, going to settle down to watch the Annual Carols from King's and playing some festive music too.
Work is ok, there's hardly anyone in the office this week and few more resigning too so 2018 going to be fun. I've survived a difficult December and been paid, all gifts done, got some booze and food in so we are ok. Plan will be to spend little in January, try and eat little less and save a little more.
Have a wonderful Christmas next week. I'm ok, in fact feeling a lot better than I thought I was going to not too long ago. Long may that continue.
Last few weeks till the end of another sad year for me, we enter the Christmas season in reasonably good heart after recent nights out with friends which really helped a lot. Made a big dent in the annual slog that is the Christmas card list and sent out a lot already which is nice. Though I send about 50 cards out I might only get about 12-15 back still it's not about the receiving it's all about the giving and the effort put into each card remembering friends even those I don't see for ages.
The cold and the snow arrived in parts of the country, and was enough to postpone our Football match this weekend with Bury unable to get the game on against Wimbledon so instead just watched some of the horse racing on ITV and then the snooker. Not an exciting weekend really, no money, writing cards, and just seeing out the next week or so. Have at least got most of my Xmas Presents sorted and will wrap up couple of things for me too. (they are from me but at least feels like I have something to open on the day, hey it's a small comfort and a means to help me get through it). All I really need now is a nice bottle of Whisky and last couple of items for Mrs Hughes but I can get them once paid.
Feeling the cold still, at least the symptoms of the recent head cold and flu I had are beginning to ease. The voice is slowly coming back and hopefully will be ok for next Sunday which is a remembrance service at a local church organised by the Lodge Bros funeral people. Always a moving day for me and the service is full of light and cheer as well.
At work things are busy, I've enjoyed having a few days off to shorten the weeks though and although I skipped the works Christmas party last week we are having a team lunch on Thursday so that will be nice and a change from the norm. We nearly there just few weeks to go, then we do it all again, but please please please make it better.
Recovering from Friday night out with the guys, not drunk, in fact hardly had anything to drink, but still full of cold and suffering. Had a bit of a lay in which was nice though I was up early enough to wave goodbye to Vince before he left, then watched the Rugby League World Cup final but England lost 0-6 to Australia.
Still full of cold, heard from Beatrix about meeting up on Sunday while she's staying over in East London near Tower Bridge, was a wee bit of a ride out across London but found the hotel ok and despite feeling rubbish I was really happy to go and see her again. We had a lovely evening enjoying the views of the river, the Tower of London and catching up, it had been about 20 years since we last met though she hasn't changed at all.
Hopefully will not be as long until the next time. Have a lovely week in England Bea xx and safe trip home to your family ... including the cats as I'm sure they will have missed you. I managed to catch the last train home on Sunday night and a long day ended for me about 1am. Glad I had Monday off to rest and catch up though I appear to have lost my voice.
Sunday was also FA Cup 2nd round action so it was good to follow AFC Wimbledon winning 3-1 against Charlton and make it into the draw for the 3rd round on Monday night. Where we get an attractive away tie against Premier League side Tottenham Hotspur so we are off to Wembley in January. Might also be a Live TV game but will have to wait and see what date and time, though overall that's good news for the club and few extra quid to help out won't do any harm.
The rest of the week just back to work, feeling rough but starting on the Xmas cards and be nice to survive a difficult week. Good to have got out and seen the guys though more of that would be great.
Got paid, spent it all already, somehow got to get through to Christmas. And blown a lot more which I have to pay off next month, really this is ridiculous now and my life is so shit.
Few days off and now looking ahead to Christmas, got loads of Christmas cards in and written those to send out to Sue, James and Hannah in Australia, then start on the list for this year. Plenty of stamps in too, and need to pick up some gifts for Jean as well soon but as I really have little to no money so have to be very careful.
Am also off each Friday and Monday for the next few weeks to use up the last of this years annual leave. Won't be going very far but at least this coming Friday (1st December) it's a gathering of the guys for an annual "Xmas" do. Will be in Twickenham for this meeting up with old school friends and seeing if I can find some cheer. Need cheering up as I really don't feel like going but know that I must make some effort. Go and meet Dave Mc first in the hotel bar, and then the other guys in Twickenham itself. No word from Beatrix about Sunday?? Which is sort of ok as I really don't have the means to take her out, and I'm now full of flu which isn't great.
Survive this week and maybe we'll soon feel a bit better, send some cards out in December and keep writing.
A week that was all about survival till pay day, and we managed it (Just about) now we start to look ahead towards December and Christmas. The countdown to Christmas is well underway, at work we have a daily countdown until we are going to put up our tree plus decorations and then another countdown till the big day itself. Though not really into the festivities and hype of Christmas I am feeling a bit better about it and will soon have the first cards sent off to Australia for Sister and family as it's also their birthdays.
Followed Wimbledon playing away at Bristol Rovers on Saturday and a good result for the Dons winning 3-1 at a side we usually struggle against. This has pulled us out of the bottom four and we go again on Saturday against Walsall but before then had another game away against Oldham on Tuesday night which ended in a drab 0-0 draw and meant that The Dons lay in 19th place in the table.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Mr Vincent Hughes, 48 years young on Tuesday 21st and hope you enjoyed your special day my friend and the hilarious birthday card I sent you, which also included a reminder for the Lads Xmas Do which is happening next week. Looking forward to that night out next week on Friday 1st, we've got Dave down from Newcastle and Jason up from Exeter again so I've got the half day off and we'll go out to meet Dave in the afternoon to start the fun early.
At least I was able to look forward to some time off at the end of this week, using up some of the final annual leave I still had for this year although not going to be doing very much with it so just going to chill out at home and begin to start sorting out bills and advances to get back on track for the rest of the year.
Find something to do with the days off, no money for Thursday but go out somewhere Friday once paid.
Turn off your mobile phone.
Mobile phones are a great way to keep in touch with colleagues, customers and the people you care about. For your own sense of peace and well-being it’s important to know when to turn off your mobile phone:
• Turn it off when you are having a conversation with someone in person.
• Turn it off when you are with friends and relatives so that you can be fully present. That makes others feel good.
• Turn it off for some time each day so that you have “down time” -- quality time when you’re not working and when you can’t be interrupted by a ringing phone.
Another week seen off, started off with a bit of shopping to get us through the week and then back to catch the remainder of the Lord Mayor's show on Saturday morning after which we also able to enjoy the many services of remembrance throughout the weekend including the Cenotaph service on Sunday 12th. Also on the Sunday we managed to catch AFC Wimbledon at home to Peterborough too at 2:30 a game that was also broadcast live on SKY TV so hope the club get a few quid for that too.
Final score -- AFC Wimbledon 2 -- 2 Peterborough United
A point against a team from the top eight isn't bad and if it was not for some desperate defending and heroic saves by George Long we'd have lost. The Dons still in the bottom four though, but at least we stay in touch and the next game is away on Saturday against Bristol Rovers.
Avoided the F1 result so I could watch the highlights of the Brazilian Grand Prix later on Ch4, I know all the titles are won but I still like to watch the racing and not already know what happens.
The week ahead we have Jenny back in which is always nice as she's a breath of fresh air, and it will be sad if/when she leaves us but I fear that the move up to London in the new year will see a fair few people make the decision to go elsewhere, that is their right and I support them to do what is best for them and their family which is after all the most important thing. I am going to concede my day off on Friday 1st December down to a half day as others are also off but have children and other commitments, I am having a day out with the guys so won't matter much if I can't get out till about 2pm or so, also still going easy on the cash front since we getting hit by daily fees but we are managing to survive.
Some more good news came over the weekend from an old and dear friend Beatrix who lives in Germany and will be travelling over to London early in December so all being well we can meet up for a drink or two and catch up on the gossip, and a big hug wouldn't go amiss either. December is beginning to look good, can't wait.
This week started off pretty well with the first round of the FA Cup getting under way, AFC Wimbledon managed to beat Lincoln City 1-0 at home. Lincoln caused several upsets last season reaching the quarter final stages as a non league club so we did ok to scramble past them and now into the 2nd round draw on Monday evening. The Dons manage to draw Charlton Athletic at home and we will pray that the game is much more entertaining that the 1-0 defeat suffered at The Valley last month.
Survived the bombardment of fireworks night and caught a bit of the action which was going off all around, however since they have been going off every night for the past month it's hardly a big deal now and to be honest will be pleased when it's all over. It's only the first week in November and the Xmas decorations up in the towns! I expect the M&S plus John Lewis adverts very soon, and it's a reminder that I'll need to start getting cards ready for posting to Australia as well since it's not just Christmas but plenty of birthdays too for the family.
On a more personal note life has been a little better of late, at least the bank fees situation which was troubling me a lot appears a bit more manageable for this month and going forward too, let's get the winter out the way and a few bits and pieces in for few people then next year needs to be much different (Strange deja vu here I know) we need to at least try and make a change.
So overall not a bad week, we'll see how we get through the next couple of weeks and into December, plenty of days off booked and need to find some places to go out on these rather than sitting around at home, we enjoyed a ride out around Windsor the other week so will check where else we can go.
Been off for a few days and enjoyed a trip out to Windsor which was nice but has not exactly resolved all the issues that I have. So Saturday was just a quiet day of food shopping, grab a newspaper and rest. Later on will catch the highlights of the F1 Qualifying for the Mexican Grand Prix which is on Saturday night at 10pm, and the usual feast of Football and Racing during the afternoon.
AFC Wimbledon taking on fellow London side Charlton at The Valley, here is how some of our fans made the trip. [Sadly lost 1-0] And then on this coming Saturday it's the 1st round of the FA Cup where we will be at home to Lincoln City.
Sunday enjoyed a lay in and then up for the NFL game at Twickenham where the final UK Series sees Minnesota Vikings take on the winless Cleveland Browns. That game is shown live on BBC2 this afternoon and will sit back and enjoy the show. Then later on tonight will be the Mexican GP so will be avoiding hearing the result as I don't have Sky and it's only highlights on C4, expecting a Lewis Hamilton win though even if comes 5th he'll be crowned F1 Champion for 2017.
Monday is the last day off from my short break, and because of money fears, I am not going far. Shall get some food shopping in though, thought it was a good idea to have some salads prepared for the rest of the week. [Try and eat healthier, maybe try and get myself up for Parkrun Saturday morning?] Plenty of ironing to do while listening to the last of the weekend podcasts so that I am ready for a return to the office tomorrow. Then it was back to work, and continuing to stress about money issues unless some sort of miracle happens. Another month is over, it's November now and while I cannot see past one week at a time and hopefully see out the end of this year, in the hope that I can now improve my life and make 2018 a better one ... which was after all the plan for this year. Time for a different change, time for action.
Got through last week, and this week is going be all about what happens on Wednesday, because that is the first monthly pay due from Croner-i Limited since they took us over from Wolters Kluwer. But before then we have the weekend to enjoy and although I haven't gone out far am enjoying the various sports on. Ascot hosts "Champions Day" and later on AFC Wimbledon will be hosting Plymouth Argyle with a chance to make it three wins on the bounce and hopefully start to move up the table. Alas that didn't happen and normal service has been resumed with a 0-1 loss to the bottom side and the meltdown on the fans forums has continued.
Saturday night watched the Formula 1 qualifying from Austin Texas home to the USA GP. With the race taking place on Sunday night though we will be watching the NFL Game from Twickenham which is the 3rd London Game between the LA Rams and the Arizona Cardinals (Sun 6pm)
Fingers crossed we are paid this week (Wednesday - yes we were) as I have a week off from then till the following Tuesday. Not a good start to the week off since I have really messed up my finances and will struggle again this month. Having a day out for a ride to Windsor the long way around but will blog that elsewhere, and there is a whole bunch of nothing else happening this month. Although we have a date in the diary for 1st December and a night out with the guys, but that aside I never do anything now apart from losing loads of money that I just do not have.
After planning this years thread as a "need for change" it is apparent that the only changes made have been for the worse. Have contemplated ended it all a few times and although the end of the year is nearly with us I really don't know what to do now.
Feeling very alone, so very alone.
So the weekend starts here, and although life at work has started to settle down and almost become enjoyable it's the home and personal life that continues to suffer. I start on Saturday having no real life, I go out briefly, get a newspaper and something for dinner, and then sit indoors listening to podcasts and a bit of the sport really does not feel like much of a way to live right at this moment and when you feeling low it's not nice to sit and read all your "friends" having a great time. Don't get me wrong am so pleased for them and their lives, they deserve it, I just find it making me feel worse and not even close to making me want to do anything positive about it.
Even following AFC Wimbledon winning 1-0 away at Northampton today doesn't really raise a cheer. I am not sure it can get any worse though.
Managed to muddle through the rest of the afternoon though.
So this week is all about survival and even then we are another five days away from being paid, and that's a worry since I've not a lot of faith in the way the new company have gone about this important process that affects us all. Am also expecting to be off for the week from next Wednesday, the plan was to go to Ireland and visit the Google offices but I panicked and bailed out of this trip now so instead am planning some days out and things to do while it's also half term. But as with everything at present it's all down to money and clearing some bills thus making space to do a few things. Not planning on going too far, but trips to Windsor and maybe into London are on the agenda.
In the meantime lets get the week out of the way and try to be a bit more brighter despite the weather being a bit pooh now.
Try and be a bit more Tigger!
Another exciting week where I've achieve very little and can't work my life out at all right now. Having survived the first week in the new company I now hope that it's beginning to settle down and we have access to all we need, the main test will be on pay day if they have sorted out our bank details (which they haven't as yet).
Another defeat for AFC Wimbledon losing 3-0 to Oxford and now haven't scored in the league for some while and in the bottom four, we have a relegation six pointer against Northampton Town next weekend and if we lose that I think manager Neal Ardley has to go. Northampton themselves are also struggling for form and were also thumped 6-0 last weekend by Bristol Rovers. However when teams are struggling they usually find the Dons a source of comfort and we fear the next few games with our toothless front line in need of a boost.
If the football wasn't bad enough (and I won't mention the England game it was that dire) then ill health is once more creeping up on me, I need to get away, cannot afford to, so instead will make a trip out tomorrow just to try and clear my mind a little. Had the Wednesday as a day off in lieu of the work we did on Sunday last week getting the company up and running the plan was to spend the morning down the Crematorium to have a bit of rest, or take the bus out to a park somewhere? I have no money so getting out anywhere else is unlikely, it's been like this for many months and I honestly don't see a way out.
Going to TRY and do another Parkrun soon, though the last one put me out of action for a few weeks but it could be the thing that I need.
New start, New Company. Now working for Croneri Limited though still in the same office building as before. Still change so far so good, free breakfast on Monday can't be bad.
The last weekend was a very mixed bag with no money, but going to see AFC Wimbledon at home to Rochdale which was a drab 0-0 draw and means that the Dons end the weekend in the relegation zone. Then on Sunday working in the office on and therefore missing the 2nd NFL Wembley game between the New Orleans Saints vs Miami Dolphins as a result. Should be able to catch most of the F1 in Malaysia as it starts at 7.30am on Channel 4. Sunday will probably be a long day at the office, we have a lot to do.
Looking forwards I need to be able to find enough to get bus pass and small amount for lunches to get through this month as well as using up supplies at home, probably having a few days drinking just water / juice which won't be a bad thing. And then I DO really want to get back and take part in another park run.
Strange feeling though, I still always feel upset, I've been through a lot worse than recent events and yet there's no end to the worry, stress and anxiety. I am NOT going to take tablets, I do want to be better but a cocktail of drugs and anti depressants is not the answer for me. It's October now, the next three months will be decisive, if I can change things through the darkness of Winter then there's a chance I can continue to improve through next year.
We will see.
In the meantime we lean towards The Rik Mayall for some inspiration.
And of course LOVE is the answer.
Not a good start to this week, it's the final week working for Wolters Kluwer although we are just moving up a floor and being renamed to Croner-i Limited so no real big changes initially. People are staying, or thinking of leaving, personally I will stay put until we know if/when we are moving building and see where that takes me. In the short term I have other worries and work is just a distraction.
Was unable to do the Parkrun 5km that I enjoyed so much last weekend, sore foot, very stiff limbs and struggling to walk properly, so skipped it and will try again in a couple of weeks time. In the meantime same old issues with money, done it all for this month so it's another long struggle. The Dons lost 2-0 to the MK club stealing bastards last night and although I intended to enjoy the NFL Game on Sunday it's not live and will catch what I can. Managed to find a stream supplied by NFL.com and enjoyed some success with the Jacksonville Jaguars winning 44-7 against the Baltimore Ravens.
Monday came into the office post move, unpacked, and tried to have a good week. Then on the weekend we will move to the new company, so I shall be working on this coming Sunday and hopefully there will be no drama. Overall not the best of weeks again, and the coming month is going to be difficult to get my mind focused, though I should just about get by it's not going to be easy.
Vary your routine.
Fitness experts recommend that you vary your routine to get the maximum benefits from exercise, alternating cardiovascular and strength training exercises to avoid boredom and muscle injury.
It’s a good idea to vary your routine in other areas of your life as well.
• Try new foods, visit new places and meet new people.
• Change everyday routines.
• Take on a new challenge at work.
• Pick up on an old hobby.
• Try and learn something new, a language, or skill.
-- I've recently tried to learn some British Sign Language (https://www.british-sign.co.uk/).
Ok get through this week and paid plus office move to 2nd floor. At least still employed and it's been a good week in many ways which is about time. First of all, Saturday morning I was up bright and early and went off to complete my first official Park Run. (https://www.parkrun.com)
Was a great start to the day, was initially a little apprehensive about it and whether I would struggle cos I am that unfit, but I DID do it and felt great afterwards although a little dizzy but that might be the lack of fitness and needing to dehydrate too. Feel wonderful, it's a small thing for some people who do it every week but for me it was something I wanted to do, prove to myself that I can do it and set a goal to do it again.
Bumped into a good friend Alison on the way back as I stopped off in Tesco to pick up some supplies. Nice to see her and we should sort out a night out or something so will contact Julia once she has her first week of new job out of the way.
Then a surprise, I received an email to tell me that I had won 3rd prize in the Dons Draw run by AFC Wimbledon. This is the first time I ever won anything or even got close which was nice as I have been paying into it for fifteen years. The £250 isn't exactly a lotto win but it will certainly help me through next month while the changeover at work takes place. Before too long we will realise Christmas is on the way, apparently it's less than 100 days now, while it's not been my favourite time of year I intend to try a bit harder to get through it, and maybe even enjoy it if I can. Buying a couple of things for myself will be most welcome, am in the market for a new iPad style tablet device as my old one gave up the other week. Either that or a new phone as I use rather older models but slightly reluctant to spend tons on that as I hardly use them.
We are also organising a night out on 1 December with old school friends which is usually a good night out so I shall try and have Friday off to go enjoy the entire day.
Still struggling mentally with the next month ahead, I have to look at the positive situation that I still seem to have a job, still have a roof over my head, still got enough to get by and it's the smaller things that worry me like having no company or support and the inability to even go out and see friends as the money isn't there and neither is the confidence to be ok.
This week I am still off on Monday and Tuesday, but with no money and not really sure where to go or what to do. Have already been down to the Crematorium gardens last week and really want something different. If the weather isn't too foul it'll be Richmond and the riverside. Other than this it's going to be a quiet week for me, don't seem to have a future until end October really and that's on the assumption that I've still got a job and can sort out some money to get through. At this point in time that's a big IF.
Although I am very honest about my failings and given that I used to drink far too much than is healthy at least for the last year or so I have been virtually alcohol free. This is mostly self imposed as I've not been out anywhere nor having friends close by to go out and meet up with. But also at home while there is booze available, it is mostly untouched. When upset or angry I don't turn to drink anymore as demonstrated by the half full bottle of 12yo malt whisky that must have been there for well over a year now and the last beers I can recall buying were 2% citrus lagers and to be frank they still taste ok and I'm not going to be knocking back 8-10 of them as I used to do with pints of Stella Artois on a night out.
Know the signs of problem drinking.
Problem drinking can begin early or late in life and doesn't just involve going to the pub each weekend, most people wouldn't see these as a problem.
The signs of problem drinking include:
• Drinking to calm your nerves, forget your worries or reduce depression.
• Inability to stop drinking without a struggle after one or two drinks.
• Lying about or trying to hide drinking habits.
• Drinking alone.
• Having medical, social, work, financial or legal problems caused by drinking.
If you think you may have a drinking problem, seek help.
Talk to your doctor, LifeWorks, or contact a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous.
Another week over and a new one just begun to kind of murder a John Lennon lyric and it's been another hectic weekend of worry, strife and not much sleep. Praying that will change with the next few weeks being truncated by holidays from work even though sadly am not going away anywhere now. First few days are chilling out watching the F1 Grand Prix from Italy and then seeing if AFC Wimbledon can pick up some points away at Blackpool (sadly lost 1-0 and had a player sent off, struggle for away form this season).
Have some days off from Thursday through to next week and although I am no longer going away as originally planned will make the most of the days off and go somewhere to enjoy a little peace and quiet.
Usually a good idea to get down by the riverside so Richmond or Hampton Court will be part of the plan, plus usual trips to the Crematorium and who knows what else? Weather seems ok so just make sure you are not moping about at home.
At least we got through Monday and Tuesday despite chaos on the trains and still problems on the roads. Work is still not great with a lot of uncertainty. Away from that I did enjoy the England Football match on Monday which was more open than the 4-0 win over Malta was last week, going a goal down within 3 mins made it so but they did recover to win 2-1 and almost guarantee qualification to Russia next year. With a bit of luck we'll also see the two Irish sides, plus Wales and maybe even Scotland which would show how good the game is here in Britain, so come on you jocks, get those wins and bring your Tartan Army too.
Get through to Friday, have your time off, go out and enjoy find some peace and quiet if you can.
Lovely sunny days to kick this week off, having been out to a funeral at the end of last week was in a slightly sombre mood but the sunshine and good news that began to filter through helps the week go by. Saturday was another open day at the Hillingdon Railway Modellers, enjoy these days giving some of Dads trains a bit of a run out.
The it was down to catch some football, with AFC Wimbledon playing at home to Doncaster, and what a game .... dull 0-0 at half time barely a shot to speak about then what a difference in the second half with two quick goals sending the Dons to a 2-0 win and three important points so now everyone can breathe once more.
Sunday was the usual quiet day, watching the F1 Belgium Grand Prix and then seeing what the rest of the week might have in store. Alas it was to prove another bad day, and as a direct result we find that we have had to cancel a planned weekend away to Hastings due to lack of funds. What I will be doing with the six days I will then have off work is anyone's guess, it will now have to be days out locally for no money using my Oyster card and with just a few quid for lunches. Early thoughts lean towards days to the Crematorium and riverside venues such as Richmond and Hampton Court. Making me sad but ultimately caused by my inability to stop haemorrhaging money left right and centre.
A quiet Bank Holiday Monday though I did get out and pick up a few things locally, birthday cards for friends children and bit of lunch. It's a small thing but one of the few positives I can say about myself is that I DO remember birthdays and no matter if I see people or not I still send cards and for the younger children a little birthday money. In an age where people just say "hi" on facebook when prompted I feel it's important to still do something a little more personal.
The rest of the week back to work, try and fight through September and look again at next week and what I might be able to do with the few days off. Any thoughts?
What happens this week, well it at least begins by being paid however that's all gone already and still have nothing for me.
Trying to sort out having enough to get away for a few days would be great but as usual it's a struggle and then there's the work stuff that needs to be said and hopefully something begins to be done. Though some are being told if they are staying or not so far I've heard nothing. We have had a few meetings and feelings are tense and morale is low.
This Friday is a day off and although I am attending a funeral following the passing of my friend Neil's Dad, though it will be nice to see him and hopefully a few others too it's not exactly the circumstances that one would have wished for. So the day off is a trip up to Slough, and we'll see what else the weekend brings us as it's a Bank Holiday too.
Got through the chaos with the trains this past month, nearly finished and maybe we will see an improvement after the Bank Holiday. The next few months will be difficult but no more difficult than they have been of late, it's not been good and I don't know what to do next.
Don’t hold grudges.
Researchers have found that stress levels and blood pressure go up when we’re angry and go down when we forgive. In some studies, forgiveness is also linked to less back pain and depression.
The ability to let go of anger and resentment is one of the best predictors of good health well into old age.
Decide to forgive someone. If you have unresolved anger toward someone at work or in your personal life, try to make peace with the person. Write the person a letter or call to talk or meet in person to resolve old issues. If that’s not possible, decide to let go of the anger that you’re holding inside and to move on.
MOST IMPORTANTLY -- Forgive yourself.
Blaming yourself for things that went wrong is just as unhealthy as holding a grudge against someone else.
What has been happening this week? Well some good and some bad news from the back end of the previous week, the good news is that it does sound as though there are no plans for redundancies at Wolters Kluwer or more to the point with the new company owners Peninsula who will take over probably October. The coming year will no doubt see plenty of changes though and almost certainly an office move but hopefully still in the Kingston area (or near enough).
The bad side, well as expected, was denied seeing my friend not once but twice last week, the manner in which I am feeling treated is very sad. I made a point last time of saying I am very happy for their plans to move, and the new relationship and all that. But do feel badly treated that when they cancel a re-arranged meeting (that was suggested by them) they do so by text and tell me they are going out instead. Well sorry mate you could have told me that earlier and not mucked me about. So I had a few drinks and got on with it. I think that this is how life will be now.
Can you get through this week...Yes just about.
Better news on Thursday from another dear friend that they have secured a new job having been out of work for a few months now, very pleased for them as they had been messed about a few times too.
Looking to find ways to feel better with myself, after all these years alone you would have thought that this would have been easy now, no so. The writing does help, keeping busy is the key though, and having plans to see friends or family too.
If you are fortunate to have someone you love in your life (good for you) and that physical plus emotional contact can be so uplifting.
Touch someone you love.
Physical touch does so many wonderful things. It relaxes, calms, promotes better sleep and makes you and the person you love feel good all over. Touch the people you love.
• Hug your child, teenager, parent, grandparent, cousin,
partner and friend.
• Spend more time snuggling.
• Give hello and goodbye kisses to the people you love.
• Teach your children to express caring and affection
through physical touch.
As Depeche Mode put it, Reach out and touch faith.
