Started off as a self help page seeking a change in lifestyle and attitude since 2016, have kept it going through into 2020-22 as it helps to get stuff off my chest, encouragement, mental health and achievements however big or small they may be. Keep the faith. Be Nice. Stay Alive.
Wow the final week of 2019 and looks like I am ending it as badly as I started. So sad, my mind just cannot resolve things anymore, and appears that the path I am on is not one that will take me forwards into something new. Reached a dead end now so if this week ends the year, next week is the start of another one and so far nothing is changing. At least once this week passes the current month long train strike should be at an end though I'm sure they'll be another one soon even though the fares will be going up too. Working Monday and Tuesday then off, hopefully can pick up a few bits of shopping to get me through, got enough on Monday evening as was surprisingly paid a day earlier which helps, will grab some beers on Tuesday and I believe that Mrs H and Joe are out on Christmas day itself so I can have a bit of peace. Actually have a lot planned to do but at least it'll be done while no one else is about. Paid my bills, not got anything left again though January is a quiet month which is helpful I can at least try and get through that. Got home for Carols from Kings which was very nice and settled me down for Christmas Day itself, seem to have got a few bits from Jean which is nice and I also bought myself some new aftershave (Joop - nice one). Christmas Day, try and have a lay in, should have the place to myself so be busy. Get plenty done, listening to music and podcasts too then dinner was sorted later on after listening to the traditional Queen Christmas message at 3pm. Afternoon and evening nicely chilled, am fine today so far. Boxing Day, ok watched the horse racing and followed Wombles 2-1 away win against Bristol Rovers, however still feeling really low and struggling, do not know where to turn now and have four weeks to survive. living on the edge of defeat all the time now and I really hate myself. Rest of the week I have been out and got new travelcard for the month ahead, no money, paid bills, and praying life will be better soon.
Right then, lets survive this week with the trains still on strike. Still no money but hopefully enough to get you through to next Tuesday, we still need another gift for Mrs Hughes though but we are nearly done. Monday was a bit rough, for several reasons, the train journey in still rubbish, and slowly got things done today. Then heard the news in the afternoon that Nick had passed away over the weekend, bit of a surprise as he wasn't ill that we were aware of but seems to have been a sudden heart attack and passed in the night. Will await funeral/wake info though it's also meant cancelling this Wednesday out but really that is fine with me due to lack of money. Tuesday will see if we can have a better day and begin to pick up bits for Christmas, do have a plan for Wednesday when I am off but it will not be much. Feel low, not far to go and we'll be through for this year. Written a birthday card for Sarah to post this week too and I hope she enjoys a nice time this year. One more week to go this year now, still train strikes, see how you do though. Think about what changes can be made for next year.
Last few weeks of the year, need to survive two more till paid, and each week will have more train strike's to endure but also have Wednesday's off work to rest and finish my Christmas shopping and sending cards. Written a few to go out on Monday morning but still need to write and send ones for Graham, Pam, Vicki. Couple of gifts sorted for Mrs H, still need M&S card, some chocs but we can sort that out soon. Monday managed to get the slow train in but coming home was rough, Tuesday was up so early that I went in on the tube from Hatton X but at least it was done. Having the day off on Wednesday and have written a number of cards, still need to get a few more plus some more stamps but at least I can afford this (just about). Wednesday was fine, although the journey wasn't much fun to begin with I did manage to pick up the vast majority of things I needed today and have written more cards to post out so that is nearly done also have three gifts now for Mrs Hughes so just one more and we are sorted there too. However very little money again but maybe enough to get me through till paid although what do I do for Christmas Day and holiday is still very much up for grabs. I don't have much and part of me kind of doesn't really care either as it's just another day off and hopefully a lay in. Made it to the weekend, with a Wimbledon win 2-1 in the league and watching some films. That's all for now. x
Monday (2nd Dec) sees the start of a month long series of train strikes, so getting in and out every day is going to be rough, will see how today goes though. As expected it was not fun, took the busy all stations train via Hounslow only because it was running late already, coming back home having left early for the 4:50 train it was almost full and I got there with plenty of time. Note to self can now use last couple of carriages of the 10 coach trains as Feltham have started using the full length of the new platforms. Tuesday much the same although the journey home a little easier than Monday was. During the day though work was bit pooh, more live issues that I don't understand, couldn't get very much done myself. Sadly losing it now and we still have a long month to go. Wednesday was much the same, trying to get things progressed but at the end of the day didn't feel like I'd got very far, did pick up a few bits on way home which might help the weekend (crumpets and cheese a favourite). Terrible day Thursday almost in tears on the way home and the travel is getting worse. Feel I got nothing done again then so fed up I lose another fifty quid that I cannot afford. Received first few Christmas cards, nice one from Phil and Maria, so have written letter and will send card off to them over the weekend, perhaps write a few but not planning on sending many this year. See how your weekend turns out, you need a quiet but productive one. Please X
Week begins being paid, which is going to have to take us through the month and cover Christmas as not paid till Xmas Eve next. Spent a lot of it already, will have to send cards and sort out Mrs H gifts (kind of in hand) and then we are good. Just some wine and nibbles for me will suffice this time around. Monday very bad, not going to be easy this week, at least some news about the bridge partially reopening on Sunday perhaps but with train strikes starting on 2nd December it's still not great. Hopefully Tuesday can be a little better, guess what ... it wasn't. Thought I was going to be given a peaceful weekend as Mrs H supposed to be going with Joe and kids to Vince and Ciara's but by Wednesday this is all cancelled so will be another quiet weekend instead. Did at least write cards for Sue, James and Hannah to post to Australia this week to get there for Christmas and birthdays all done. Have a couple more birthdays to do before then and then we will probably not do much else but I will feel guilty so instead will make sure I send to family (Jo, Keith, Margaret and maybe the likes of Kate, Sarah, Julia x) Struggled at work, letting too much get to me, no sign of my pay rise either, and next week the trains are on strike for the month so that will be awful I know. My friend Mark said farewell to his mum today, so I should know how he's feeling and let that put my temporary issues into perspective. Try and have a better weekend.
Start of another new week, not many to go now for this year, can also look to enjoy having Friday off but it's the last week before being paid so money is tight as always. Monday got in fine but the journey will start getting harder soon and more train strikes on the horizon. Found today really dragged and I need to find something to do which will help it move along. Completed the blog for Kempton this Wednesday, ahead of time, and on Tuesday we will follow the FA Cup Replay against Doncaster as well as beginning to update the weekend league game against Gillingham. Have been eating rubbish lately and I need to change that, ideally I can get something nice in for once next time I go shopping but right now I have to muddle through the week until I am paid next Monday. We lost the FA Cup game 2-0 so no excitement in the cup for us this season. Feeling bad tempered most of the week at work, trying to rest in the evenings, at least written up blogs, and a letter to Susan for Christmas which will need to be finalised and sent out next week I guess. Got cards for birthdays and Graham (Xmas) so need a couple more but I do not currently plan on doing much more for this year. Mrs Hughes I have secured couple of items and will get M&S Gift card as well, so almost done there. What I do need is something for me, couple of bottles of wine and something for the day itself. Day off on Friday but didn't go very well for me, having secured a win on the bonus rounds I quickly lost all that (and more) so down already. Heard from Sarah which was nice, but still not good enough to make me feel better this weekend.
Start with having Monday off, and need to begin to sort out Christmas and Birthday plans as it's only about five or six weeks away. Need gift for Mrs Hughes, and I have already got cards to post to Australia so aside from more cards for Pam, Vicki, Graham that will probably be about it. Then all being well I shall start getting some nuts, nibbles and chocs in for myself, as for the day itself Christmas dinner will be home alone (though I did go to Sam and Kevin last year) and as long as I have milk, bread, something for dinner that will do me. Anyway it's a month off but will soon creep up on me if I'm not prepared for it. Start a letter you need to send to Susan in Australia and then write up cards for them to post out by end of November, generally you got a fair bit done today, good. Back into the office on Tuesday, see how that goes, very busy and catching up having only take ONE day off is a bit bizarre. Wednesday was a bit better, weather nicer and able to get some lunch today and picked up some fruit. Caught up on the podcasts and NFL Show that I missed the night before. Thursday would have begun the updates for my blogs over the weekend, but news reaches me that Cheltenham have abandoned racing for Friday and have further inspections for the rest of the meeting on Saturday and Sunday. At least the rest of the blogs are complete and ready to go. Evening just relax, bit of football on (England game, but they are usually dull - they won 7-0 lol) ready for Friday but have a headache and the constant worry doesn't help. Try and get better.
Begun another working week by getting in for spot of breakfast, no Liz as she's still ill sadly but Jenny back in which is nice. Tried to keep busy today, wasn't too bad, and also successfully covered my deficit for the month, so fingers crossed we can look ahead now and survive the rest of the year. Sad news later on that my friend Mark has lost his Mum, she passed away over the weekend after a long illness. RIP Mrs Jones. Not a good week so far, messed up as always, struggle to survive the next couple of weeks, will have enough cash to see us through the week but that's about it I fear. Looking forwards to next Monday and a day off where I will not be able to do anything practical but will then have two weeks to get through hopefully. If weather is fine I will aim to get down to the Crematorium perhaps for an hour or so, but realistically this is going to be a blank day for me and one to reflect. IF I can do something constructive that would be great. Managed to get through Wednesday spending nothing but feeling bad all day, Thursday wasn't much better and my bank cards have been compromised so will not know until Friday if they will work again, but hopefully this will be fine. It's generally all consuming now, nothing else matters just my ability to get through the coming weeks. Good news at least the cards working again using chip and pin which I will continue to do now for a while.
Can I make it through the weekend? We shall see. At least on Saturday we have some FA Cup action where my team AFC Wimbledon will be playing host to Doncaster Rovers.
Opening this week with a couple of days off, Monday went out to Hammersmith for a ride, managed to get a lot of things done and then returned via Richmond. Cold out, no money, very fed up indeed. Still it was good to go out, will survive the month hopefully. Then on Tuesday all being well can meet with Ken and Cathy for lunch in Richmond. Got a bit of cash to get me through hopefully I can be ok this month, have birthday and Christmas cards for Australia and will send them away end of November, but aside from perhaps Graham, Pam, Vicki I don't think I'll get many more this year, simply not in the mood at all but at least made a start on it and as long as the family ones are sorted that will be fine for the time being. Tuesday was good had a couple of drinks which seemed to go to my head but lovely to see both Ken and Cathy and she also brought her doggie Jasper. Nice few hours peace and quiet then managed a bit of shopping on way home. Back to the office on Wednesday will see what I have missed there, written up other blogs too for the weekend (Football and NFL) plus have drafted ones for racing as well later in November. Truly buggered things up now, although might still just about get away with it, this is not cool at all, behind about £25 need to cover this soon. Struggled through Thursday too and clearly all is not well with me, asked work for pay rise but not expecting anything dramatic on that front (would be nice though) right now looking to get through the coming three weeks or thereabouts. Rugby World Cup final on this Saturday morning England vs South Africa, bit of football later on and the NFL on Sunday will keep us occupied I hope this weekend. Rugby was disappointing with England losing 12-32 to South Africa and the Dons can get out of the bottom three with a win against Lincoln but we drew 1-1 but that was still enough to climb out of the relegation zone at the expense of the club stealing franchise ha ha ha.
Almost through the month, will be paid on Friday and all being well life can improve a little if I don't act as stupidly as I have recently. Good start to Monday although it's raining as I now have fifty quid from Mrs H which will see me through and no longer have to stress about struggling this week, all good. Nice to hear from Ken and Cathy and all being well shall meet with them on Tuesday next week for lunch in Richmond for which I need to ensure I can offer to pay for! Working week was peaceful enough, got the usual meetings out the way and had been ploughing through plenty of tickets so at least feel productive. Tuesday won a little off a free bet but that went on the football in the evening and had no success, Wimbledon lost 1-0 at Burton Albion which was disappointing having also got a bang average draw in the 1st round of the FA Cup against Doncaster. By Wednesday we been using up the cash, got a few bits and bobs in as supplies for the weekend and all being well we can get through to Friday and then begin the exciting plans for the end of the year (by which I mean getting Christmas/Birthday cards for all). Need to create that list and begin by getting ones for Australia including birthdays and one for Hannah's baby Addison. Rest of the week fairly average, Thursday and Friday nothing much happening but will look to enjoy the return of The Last Leg on Friday night Ch 4 10pm. Then the weekend is of course packed with sporting action, Rugby World Cup England vs New Zealand, followed by Cheltenham racing and the NFL Game in London on Sunday. I have Monday and Tuesday off to look forward to, all being well I can have a good time and stop stressing about life.
Starting this new week with a day off but it's been ruined by a stupid decision over the weekend to waste £50 and now I think it will be a long lay in, do some ironing, listen to music and do nothing as you are skint until Friday week. Actually I did make it out albeit briefly but the day was essentially a wasted one just rested and listened to music while updating other blogs too. Might be just about fine to survive to end of next week but it's not been much fun. Knee and leg still in pain following last weeks fall and we will see how the rest of this week goes. Back to the office on Tuesday morning see how that goes, badly as it turns out. Not enjoying life at all even though friends are great, the sleep is poor, I just cannot switch off and during the day there is always some sort of annoyance. Got through to midweek and at least the weekend ahead is in sight, however with no money it's another case of survive and pray that next month will turn out better, darker mornings and evenings bring about their own issues but right now as I type this out I think I can muddle through. Biggest hurdle (apart from no money) is my attitude towards others, am often very short of temper and while I don't want to take it out on others if I bottle it up then things get worse. Really need another avenue to try and drinking sure isn't one of them sadly. Wednesday wasn't great and I need to get through the next week too, then I can regroup a bit. This weekend there is plenty of rugby on when England play against Australia in the World Cup and then AFC Wimbledon play host to Portsmouth and are on the back of a pair of wins so plenty of confidence for another success. Then we also have Champions Day at Ascot on Saturday to enjoy and will just relax on Sunday ending another poor week.
This week ... oh what a terrible thing you have done yesterday, meaning you have very little to nothing to get through the coming few weeks with now, what an idiot. Not surprisingly had very little sleep to begin with, have also appeared to have cut myself in various places which is not great. Is there anything good I can report? Hmmm? Well at least Wimbledon won on Saturday that was something, but overall my mind is just racing away with worry and financial issues. This week is going to be difficult, perhaps more so that it usually is but we have to keep trying. Did get in on Monday morning only to find most of breakfast completely gone, had something and will aim to have a "free" day today which will help. Managed Monday in the end, got home and was helped by a nice chat with Steffi Lee and also bit of a reply from Cathy too. Able to get some sleep and then see how Tuesday turns out, wasn't so bad with Stew and Jeremy both in office, plenty of meetings too.
Wednesday got money deposited at the bank and that should see me through all being well, could have had a better evening but having taken £2 won on free spin up to £46 then lost it all, so that could have been money for shopping on Monday now we are back to the usual plan of do little and hope for the best. Thursday though it's World Mental Health Day so we'll see how that goes eh. In the meantime I leave this here which is Sting singing Spread a Little Happiness. Turns out that it was fine after all and we are so close to the weekend which for me is good as I am off on Monday so nice long weekend. Sadly seems that the Rugby (England's last game against France) is called off due to a storm in Japan so will just relax, try and catch up on some sleep perhaps. Friday started with a fall, literally fell over on way to catch bus, luckily no harm done and don't think anyone saw. Rest of the day just try and make it through so that you can get home in one piece and rest over the weekend ahead.
Saturday would have watched the rugby but just chilled out and then followed Afc Wimbledon away at Southend United in a relegation battle at the bottom of League One which we won 4-1 and out of relegation places. With a plan needed for next week and then Sunday will hopefully see the Japan F1 Grand Prix take place if it's not cancelled due to storm that cancelled the rugby world cup too. After which the next couple of weeks need to pass by without issues and then we can try to rebuild again?
Starting the week it's rather wet and cold now, I am still not in a very good place but will have to survive this week and next as best I can. If I can have at least one "free" day that would help with my weekly budget, at the moment I think I might just be ok and scrape by but will be tight. Was nice to see William yesterday though (Sunday) and good to have got out for a change. Got myself through Monday and not surprised it was raining on the way home, got some money from Joe this week so that will help me over the coming few weeks, at least try and have a good one till weekend.
Tuesday night very quiet, watch Holby, update blogs for the week ahead and be ready for Wednesday, feeling tired and frequently in pain. Other blogs have been updated we have a busy weekend of Football (Afc Wimbledon won 3-2 at home to Rochdale for their first win of the season) and also the horse racing at Kempton / Pontefract plus the NFL London games the first of four begins on Sunday when Oakland Raiders face Chicago Bears at the Tottenham Stadium, the first time the NFL has played there. Limped along to the end of the week at work, not been enjoying life lately and overall there doesn't seem to be a lot of point to it, however I heard from Fabrizio which was nice and will see him in a few weeks or so once he's had another holiday. Try and have some sleep, be well, have a plan for the future months and then it'll be Christmas before you know it lol. Keep well, Stay Alive.
See how you do this week, including having the day off on Tuesday to chill out, absolutely NO money again so you cannot even get out for lunch. Monday wasn't great as we got a bit upset and moody in the evening then chatting with Steffi so I think that's the end of things there before they've started. Tuesday was off all day and it was raining, lost money as usual which meant I've had to enable a payment holiday for my loan and that will help me get through the month. Did receive £50 from Mrs Hughes so can use that to help with the next few days. At least got all my ironing done and then prepared for the week ahead, also update other blogs and some music, not too bad in the end I guess. Got a little bit of money back in the evening on Tuesday and watched TV, then the rest of the week is geared towards going out to see William on Sunday in Kingston. Not a fun week really, and should have been better off by Wednesday however that's all gone. Hopefully I can at least make Sunday otherwise I'm a bit screwed. Away from money issues I have been very busy at work, when I can be left alone to crack on with things that is and also found I have been sleeping a bit better of late. Not much else to report really, did drop Steve a note and will try see him end of the month (Oct) as money will not let me do that earlier sadly. Overall this was a poor week, I just cannot see a way out and it's a long slow road ahead. Try and have a good weekend.
Having been ill again at the tail end of last week I asked for Monday off to try and recover a little, so we start the week with a lay in and then pop out for a little shipping though nothing too exciting as still no money. At least the weekend we got a fair bit done and today will start the week hopefully well enough to have a better time, though no money as usual we are about a week away from being paid which will help a lot. Have enough to get through this week as long as there isn't much going on. Monday did a few things including some ironing, nothing too exciting, though looking ahead to having some days off when I can actually get out in particular next weekend when I'll go out and meet up with William for lunch. I did manage to run some of the OO Gauge trains on a short test track and they are all running although one DMU is a little slow. Back in office on Tuesday, see how that goes. Much better I guess but only had the lunch I took with me plus some soup as I didn't go outside and get anything. Ok picked up few bits on the way home and had dinner which touch wood have kept down, sadly though seem to have spread this to Liz who ended up leaving on Wednesday afternoon ill. Sorry x
Wimbledon lost 2-1 again against leaders Coventry very annoying as their winner was in the 5th min of stoppage time, still it's Bristol Rovers at the weekend lets pray for our first win alas not to be and once again we took the lead and lost 3-1 with our scorer Marcus Forss being sent off too. Rest of the weekend very quiet though did have a text conversation with ex colleague Steve Skeats and will aim to meet up soon.
This week will include a break on Wednesday where hopefully I can go somewhere for the day off and rest. Before then I got to hope I get over another upset stomach on Sunday and that Monday allows me a peaceful day and commute into town. Got in fine on Monday morning but hectic day and will try to leave early if I can, which I did, was able to get back home for the afternoon and then making plans for Wednesday though the weather looks a bit nasty which is typical however I will still get out and do a few things. Tuesday a bit better, still feeling delicate but made it through. Jenny off this week too. I need to be out on Wednesday if only to spend some time relaxing and not sat at home all the time. Money cleared so can get a small bit for me and use for the next few days including getting something nice in for dinner.
Managed to 'win' another Class 33 N Gauge item on eBay and that should arrive soon, hopefully a good runner will use with my railfreight wagons and then the next step is to create a small test layout / shunting puzzle. Need some 2'x1' plywood boards which would be a nice start and see what you can do from there. Though I should try and stop buying for a while, now and again I feel the need to splurge, next job will be to catalogue these items into a spreadsheet for future reference. Item did arrive safely on Wednesday, runs ok but occasionally makes a bit of a squeal, will try and get it apart, oiled and given't another longer go later. Rest of the week, after Wednesday just aim to survive again, came back into office on Thursday and it's all meetings, questions and stuff. Hardly able to get on with things myself get a bit fed up with it all. Friday was terrible, got in to the office and instantly feeling ill, so bad that I had to come home and just try and rest. Trying to get through it, have also chosen to take Monday off so lets see how the weekend turns out for me this time.
Already fed up and down £40 so will need to have a very quiet week and use the small amount of cash on me and see where we stand on Friday. Monday also sees another day of train strikes on South Western Railway which is very annoying and unnecessary really might mean a trip on the underground to get in. Was really unwell on Sunday so found Monday a big struggle plus very grumpy (not for the first time) and made it through just about. Tuesday we we bit better and made some progress with the help of others, busy day of work, also got few things in on way home and managed to keep dinner down so far which was nice.
Wednesday we will have a few meetings, plus I need to sort out another day off or two. Had a nice chat with the lovely Sharon and would be great if I can arrange a day to go and see her soon. Enjoy a day away from work and stress plus all her dogs and cats (and Shaz is a babe as you can see x). Rest of the week is much the same, trying to make do and survive, at least it seems that end of September I might be a little better as I will do a payment holiday on my loan which will give me £150-200 more for that month and stop the endless cycle of borrowing which will now have to cease. (Good). Then what can we do with the rest of the year coming fast and furious. Lee has suggested a Friday night out in Ringwood but unsure how to get there for that one, yes it's possible by train / bus or coach to Ringwood but will be a lot of cash at a time when I don't have much. At least look at the options and try. While the weekend is another quiet time, at least hopefully without the illness this time around, and football is AFC Wimbledon vs the Frannie scum plus there's F1 on at Monsa so will avoid the result if we can and follow that.
The Bank Holiday begins the week and gives us a day of rest (hopefully) so chill out and have a good day doing not very much!! Might not necessarily go out today but at least chill and look at the days racing plus next weekend football and racing with other blogs to be updated through the week. In fact I didn't get up till 1pm and then just chilled out at home and all being well I can have peace for the week ahead, also look to get some trains out for a run too. Rest of the week was a bit strange, lack of sleep still at night due to the heat, back in the office on Tuesday and had a fairly busy day then needing to plan how to cover the deficit already incurred this month. Wednesday will have done Kempton Blog for tonight, and need to update ones for Saturday (Chester horse racing and Football match vs Wycombe) also look at Dads one's too where I believe we have already done two for September so underway nicely there. At least managed to cover shortfall and maybe that will help me the rest of the week. Got an address for Vincent down in deepest Devon, and have some cash from Joe so will be able to use that this week and get by. As usual though it doesn't last very long and we back in the deficit once more.
Friday we have the joy of a train strike (right through to Monday too) and had to get up early and go in on the tube, so left early to come home ok. Speaking of leaving we had to say goodbye to the lovely Andrea who is off to new horizons in Bournemouth. Good luck lovely, enjoy, it will not be the same without you and I've lost another source of happiness. Praying the weekend will be peaceful and I can get by then it's another week of tragic games and misery. #SWR
This week will be fine when we get to the end of it, as we'll have been paid, and hopefully we can have a little money to see myself get out and about on the Bank Holiday Monday. Written up other blogs and trying to be good but sometimes it's not easy, Monday was fine, bearable, though breakfast was a bit rank. Still this situation does mean I can think about booking days off for rest of the year and I'll have Mon/Tue to consider so we can chill and have a few short weeks before the year is up. No Jenny on Monday which was a shame, always nice to see her in, Vikrant back and I don't know why but a little irritating still he's new, we shall find something to get him busy. Made updates to my Kempton Blog for the Wednesday and ready with some for the weekend too. Tuesday I really didn't enjoy in the office, was trying to keep myself to myself and avoid others which didn't really work, at least I've money to get through and picked some bits up this week so we will get to Friday I think just about. Need to give Graham another call on Wednesday and see if he's free this weekend either Saturday or next week, can get a train over to Egham and see them. Sunday will be quiet as no trains so just get shopping, some beers and rest. Thing is that life changes day by day for me and as a result of some stupid decisions I really don't think I'll make it out this weekend at all. Down about £150 and if I can scrape that together I will get by with NOTHING for the month ahead. Also need to end the cycle of debt and living one month at a time and this has to start changing NOW.
So sorry Graham, I do love you all but right now I simply cannot contemplate doing anything, and being social is the last thing on my mind right now.
Another week of turmoil and angst no question, one that must be survived with the minimum of fuss. How was Monday then? Apart from breakfast being late and disappointing it was fine in the end. Am prepared for our retro meeting on Tuesday (be good to get that out the way) and of course get to see the lovely Jenny in the office too. The opening few days though of this week is the same story of lack of sleep, trying to cope and having no money, still one day at a time and we'll get there....where "there" is exactly. At least I've booked a few days leave for the coming months so next try and plan out some activities for these, rather than doing nothing with them. The first of these is the 11th September (Wednesday) which gives us a few weeks to have a think about it. Before then we have a bank holiday weekend but will discuss that next time.
Week has passed by uneventfully so far, at least we surviving money wise and will have enough to get to payday next Friday. This weekend will be a quiet one for me, the Dons drew 1-1 against Accrington so I might give some trains a run around perhaps and have written up about events coming up in the next week or two.
This week, need to get through as usual, and we also have a couple of days off on Tuesday and Wednesday yet with no money available I really do not know what I will be doing. Hopefully I can at least get out on one of them, maybe Kingston and sit by river or go to Richmond and spend a bit of time on the green, however if Monday is anything to go by it's raining and might not be very nice outside. Written up other blogs and trying to keep busy, as I have no funds decided to stop in on Tuesday and will see about nipping out on Wednesday instead. Still cannot understand why I booked these day off though maybe I had a plan to go to Brighton which is on Wednesday? Didn't turn out to be the best of days but then I've also had worse. Back to the office for Thursday and Friday, now need to have a very peaceful week ahead. Money is a problem for a bit longer yet let's try and take our mind off it for a while. Have updated all the blogs for August and it's only the first week of it so well ahead, am looking at cataloguing my trains and will start with the N Gauge that I've accumulated recently.
Try to remember to give Graham a call on the weekend but otherwise this is a very long week and will be pleased to see the month out eventually, think I can survive as long as there are no further drama's.
A busy week for the blogs as we have racing from both GOODWOOD starting on Tuesday and over the Irish sea from GALWAY where racing will be all week long following the fortunes of Dermot Weld and JP O'Brien. If we can do that without losing all your money as usual it will be a nice result for a change. The week begins with a return to work on Monday, usually not a great occasion but at least we might nab some breakfast and also see Jenny today which is always a treat. Am struggling to rest at night and been up in the early hours trying to pass the time. Really must call Graham too and see if he's enjoyed Goodwood probably on Sunday afternoon. Tuesday was a little better in that we clawed back a bit of what we had lost up to then, and we have a little bit on Wednesday to play up so there's a small chance we can get something going to use next Tuesday and Wednesday when we have a couple of days off. The racing at Galway and Goodwood continue all week, not great results so far, but hey it's just a bit of fun. At one point we we looking better but that didn't last long and now we still £70 a drift and having to deposit some funds by the weekend just to cover myself. Not good at all. Trying to look forwards now, a couple of days off next week but that will be very hard to go out and do very much, even so we can go to Richmond and sit on the green or down by the river?
Another week and it's about to get a lot warmer, if you can get by on Monday that would be awesome as you also have Tuesday OFF and plans to get out for the day plus on Thursday you will be paid which might begin to help things at least in the short term. Two big issues to work through this week though, first one might be simple and that's replace your broken Oyster card to the reserve one which I hope will still work having not had use for about ten years. The other slight more difficult and that's my right foot has collapsed and it's awkward / painful to walk about. Taking pain killers helping but the initial discomfort is a bit problem for me at the moment. Ok so I think I got the Oyster card sorted, at least the money has been transferred over so we should be good now he says hopefully.
Other things for this week particularly on Tuesday as I have booked the day off to visit the Crematorium as it's the anniversary of Dad passing so I will be emotional and sad. It's a very hot day and sat around feeling rather confused, maybe that was the heat? Thursday is supposed to be the hottest day of the year, perhaps on record, but it's just one day and all being well if we can get into the office early then we can survive it. Already well down for the month I honestly don't know what to do with myself but I shall try and find somewhere to go on the weekend since sitting at home doesn't seem to be working for me either. I will have a new Oyster card for the month so maybe go out early doors on Saturday and catch a bus or train to Kingston or Richmond and grab a coffee and few bits for lunch. Then looking ahead to next week it will be a busy one for the racing blogs as we have meetings at Pontefract (Sunday) followed by Galway festival and Glorious Goodwood all week too.
Please try and change!! Really this week is now going to be a struggle once again and you were supposed to be sorted by now. What to do, well all you can do this week is try to survive and will need to have at least one day doing nothing ... maybe Monday if you can get in and grab some breakfast which will help you get through. Only thing to enjoy this week is that Jenny will be in on Thursday but right now as I start writing this I don't want to carry on anymore, it's pathetic. Awful few days, not happy bunny, got to Wednesday and instead of paying some bills am having to deposit money to bank to cover myself. All this leaves us even shorter for next month and this continues to over shadow everything I do. Another terrible day on Wednesday if I am honest with myself for a change but we can at least look ahead to having a weekend of rest and also planning what to do next week on Tuesday (Day Off) and of course paid by Thursday. Thought little will change in the coming few months at the very least i need to make some small improvements in my lifestyle and actions. Lets try and have a detox this weekend and have a bit of a tidy around as that often makes me feel better as I can feel I have achieved something as a result. I have a lot of clutter which can be better and if I can put a few bits away or have a good clean up I will probably feel much better for it. Change the trains around perhaps, or get some of them down for a bit of a run around would probably be a good use of the day. Plan your Tuesday day off and make sure you can afford to get out as well even if it's a quick run to the Crematorium and then into Kingston the important thing is that you DO go out and spend some time resting preferably down by the riverside but that's one for next week.
Sadly starting the week again in the same position I was hoping to avoid, broke, seriously struggling to just get by. Got in this morning and managed to nab some breakfast which was nice, a quiet morning and managed to get plenty done plus updated my other blogs for the coming days so that was good start. Going to try and get by this week with little cash and see how that goes, then the plan for the weekend will be to go out somewhere and relax although it's also the British Grand Prix this weekend so try and get back home to watch qualifying too. Tuesday managed to have a decent day and survived, home to watch Tennis, Holby and be ready for the rest of the week. Updated other blogs for Pontefract and Kempton Park racing, then look ahead to next few weeks. Rang up and tried to get back an over-payment made last week, IF that comes back then we got a couple of quid for myself to get through the month and that will be nice. I also need to send a card to James in Australia for his birthday (sent on Friday, good) and also renew my driving licence too. Alas as is always the case I managed to lose most of that money but did get some onto Amazon card so that's one aspect covered for now. Need to survive past next week and then look towards August.
Wished my friend Wendy a lovely birthday, and said hi to Sarah but am very unlikely to see either of them again now. Really finding it hard to get through the days and little things tend to make me upset. Have a peaceful weekend if you can and enjoy the Cricket Final on Sunday on Ch4. Turn off your mobile phone. Mobile phones are a great way to keep in touch with colleagues, customers and the people you care about. However for your own sense of peace and well-being it’s important to know when to turn off your mobile phone: • Turn it off when you are having a conversation with someone in person. • Turn it off when you are with friends and relatives so that you can be fully present. • Turn it off for some time each day so that you have “down time” time when you’re not working and when you can’t be interrupted by a ringing phone.
The second half of the year begins with my having a welcome day off on Monday 1st July. The aim will be to go out for the day if it's not too hot, heading over to Crystal Palace on the train and have a look around the park. This has been something I've meant to do for a while, for one it will get me out for the day and secondly there is plenty to see here, especially the famous Dinosaur statues which have been here for over 160 years. A long day and plenty of walking the Park around Crystal Palace is very undulating and has more than enough pathways to accommodate the school parties, runners, dog walkers and cyclists.
The area also is home to the National Sports centre which is set in a bowl beneath where the famous Crystal Palace would have been had it not been burnt down in the 1930s. You also have the BBC Transmitter tower (above) looming overhead although it was not as massive as I was expecting it to be but then again didn't get right up close, it's just a superb landmark when you travelling around this area of South London. I'm glad I took the time to go and have a look around, maybe I'll do so again, perhaps taking lunch or a bit longer to explore the area and park. Rest of the week....well it was not great, we survived though and had a few drinks on Friday night at a colleagues leaving do plus saw William which was good. However the weekend is back to the old ways and am struggling again. Lets see if the next few weeks will be better for you.
Starting with a very quiet Monday, try and get in early and nab some breakfast but then not much as only paid on Tuesday and have already ruined this month so no money again. Can you get some work done without too many distractions this week and can you then sort out some way to get through the rest of the week and month. First thing though on Tuesday morning you need an early start to sort out few bills plus ordering a new Oyster Card for the month and I do hope that the TFL site is up and running during the small hours.
Heard from Liz at work that Jenny (our lovely BA currently on maternity leave) might well be back into the office but also seems to be close to working for Stew at FFT, that will be good for her with two small children to care for and good life balance plus Stewart is a good boss and she knows him and what she will be getting into so all being well it'll work out fine for her in the near future though it would be lovely to see her again for a little bit of sunshine in the office this summer. Been a warm and humid week without too much sunshine though but has meant a difficult night without sleep, although it's not been helped by my own anxieties too. On Wednesday I shut myself away for the morning to see if that would help a bit and get some more things done too which did help a little bit for the morning but the rest of the day wasn't great. Home and rest up, see how the other blogs are and begin to draft the busy July/August ones for Galway and Goodwood. Then having struggled through Thursday and Friday was annoyed that I could only just have minimal amount of funds to see me through till end July. No way to send Freddie anything for his birthday and that upsets me as I have never missed the boys birthdays up to now. Just keep on going, one day at a time.
Scraping through the final week before being paid, just about enough to get by and have Royal Ascot to help me through (though no betting, just blogging it). Monday, bit of a move around in the office means I don't have Liz for company any more, new QA bloke starts, but I am busy and really not a trainer / mentor will be nice although I have many other demands on my time if I'm honest.
Tuesday is Day One of Royal Ascot and had a couple of winners, obviously am not backing them personally but posted on message boards will do for now. Train strike started and had a bad journey in and soaking wet coming home. Will have to see how Wednesday goes next, turned out to be a better journey in only because I set off at 6am, so was able to leave at 4pm and head home which was nice. Thursday I have a day off, so need to find somewhere to go out in the morning. Pick up a bit of shopping and if dry head off to the Crematorium? Or find somewhere to go but with the trains a mess, Royal Ascot travellers coming too I think just stay local, do the blogs, write up the info for Ascot and watch it on ITV.
It's been Frankie Dettori's day so far with three winners and I've completed my blogs for the rest of the meeting. Back into the office on Friday and still the train strikes are on so might bus up to Hatton Cross again and get tube in as that was fine earlier in the week just means a much earlier start. A quiet weekend as no money but will watch racing on ITV, F1 Qualifing and Racing plus look through the football fixtures which have been released for next season.
Nothing exciting happening this week in my world, it's just one I need to try and survive with very little money available as usual. Busy on the blogging front with regular entries for Pontefract and Kempton racing this week plus we need to look ahead to next week and Royal Ascot. Got in early as usual on Monday and snagged bit of breakfast which will help if I can get by at least one day with out spending money on lunches. Tuesday was feeling really tired all day and struggled through at least wasn't raining today. Then realised all too late today was Mum's anniversary of her passing and I almost missed it. Exchanged a few messages with Cathy in the evening and appears her Mum is not great and might not make it, very rough on her, but she's really strong has her sisterhood to support. Wednesday another wet day, managed to get through it as well as Thursday and got a few bits in for the weekend. How we get through the month is something we need to work on.
Still thinking of going to see my old school friend Stephanie, which would be nice but in the current climate proving to be difficult. Keep believing Steffi, it'll happen soon. Xx
NEW WEEK, DAY OFF MONDAY. Nothing new really, having to go for another Eye Scan in Feltham at 11am and will use rest of the day for a few chores like Bank, shopping and ironing. It's going to be a long month now as I once again have no money left after the first week since last pay day. Will have to try and get through then see about how next month will be for me. On the plus side I have money cards and gifts to send to Julia and John for their birthdays later in June. The day did not go well in the end although I got all my chores done I am going to have to cancel this coming Sunday as I've no money now. Tuesday had a chat with William and we are cool to skip Sunday and defer for a little bit. Thanks. Makes me feel a tiny bit better. Now only setting about getting through the week, Wednesday night and some of Thursday have no internet connection so phone and tablet aren't working for me, really annoying but thankfully the PC is still ok so it's a problem with the phone and tablet it seems. Very fed up as it's always something going wrong for me and I cannot just replace the phone. Phone works on other wifi like train and my EE Dongel so will see if we can get through a little while longer.
Nearly to the weekend, need to find something to do and somewhere to go out? Might have a day playing trains which would be nice, lets see. Really not been a good week for me at all. Need to sort out my life for the second part of the year.
A Bank Holiday Monday starts us off, but as usually have blown all my money and will have to struggle through the month. Tried to get out but not going too far, probably into Richmond and sit on Richmond Green there with a coffee and just rest if the weather allows. Consider your future, not just the coming weeks but what can you do to create a more positive outlook for yourself, even small changes will be good for you, put £50 a month in a tin and forget about it which will give you a little money for Christmas if you can survive that far. Monday was ok in the end, listened to the play off final which went to Aston Villa, and changed my trains around on display. Back to work on Tuesday, just need to see this week out and look ahead to booking some more days off for summer. At least Liz and I met with Jenny and her children lunchtime for a bit of a chat, she looks really well, the children are going to give her a lot of happiness and rest of the day was fine but not as enjoyable. Having to return a parcel which was annoying me as clearly the wrong size, and then will see how the rest of the week goes. Wednesday wasn't anything special, and watched the Europa Cup Final online, Arsenal 1 - 4 Chelsea but lost another £50 so will need to cover this by next week. :( Thursday a day of meetings, order a new Oyster card to collect on Friday for next week but have no funds for anything else this weekend and will need to find something to get us out on Sunday week in Kingston. Only just surviving day by day, and the monthly cycle doesn't look like being broken soon. Still another week over with and there's the Champions League final this Saturday night where I hope Liverpool can win for Derek ! [Won 2-0 in one of the dullest games of recent memory]
