2021 DIARY WEEK FIFTY TWO 20th DEC - 31st DEC [YEAR END EXTENDED SPECIAL]

An extending last entry for 2021, to take us through to year end. Been out and about prior to Christmas, last few days of work but also seeing friends and drop off final few cards and gifts. Not sure I will be doing much myself for Christmas Day itself but as long as I have something for dinner, milk and bread then I will be fine. Monday morning, not many working this week, will keep busy and see if we can get through without being too bored. Hard to get anything done as cannot login to most sites, or have other questions so just do what you can. Had nice message/card from Kate and Wendy that was lovely, not been out today so I might do something on Tuesday instead. A better day on Tuesday as found something things to do and keep occupied, also popped out and bought some wine, chocs, and few other bits for myself that will get us through the weekend. Will need bread/crumpets and maybe pick up a few other things later in the week. Tuesday night will have another gaming session with Vince in charge working the magic from Ireland, was entertaining though we will skip a session on Sunday as it's Boxing Day. Hopefully good, get some sleep later and see how Wednesday works out, it is after all your last "working day" of the year. Missed the NFL show so caught up with that in the morning instead, then ready for another day, work was fine, did something and then signed off, but worse of all today I lose loads of money, same every month, will have funds to see me through but the plans just aren't working right now. Get into Thursday and get the final bits for yourself into Christmas, try your best to keep well, sadly seems like the year will end as it began. Been out, got a few bits, nothing special, nothing really for Christmas and already feeling low and unwell due to recent events. Will draft some messages to friends and family to wish them a wonderful time, personally I need a rest and a break. Tv and Radio for tonight, then Friday must be a nice peaceful day for you with blogs to write. Still struggling but we did get through to the weekend, going to be a quiet few days for us I think, no one to go and see, received couple more cards from Cathy and Claire which was nice, nothing from Pam though sadly, never mind. Posted messages for friends, will do a few on WhatsApp later as well I think. Football has been called off for Sunday against Charlton, so will focus on the racing on ITV instead, see if our game on Wednesday against Oxford goes ahead or not. Getting through the day as best we can, listening to podcasts from the other day, bit of music later on. Feel down and lonely now, it's your fault though, get some life into you. Stop the online betting please. Clearly not working for you. Go out on Monday, get rent money, something for lunch and rest. Didn't stay out long, raining, but got rent money done and will have to wait a little while and see how bad things are. Blogs updated for today next ones will be at the weekend for New Year. Gaming session on Tuesday, otherwise a very quiet week for me. Worrying about funds again, as usual, will sort something on weekend and hopefully can pay final bills then look at January. Not been out today, need to find somewhere to go later in the week and get some lunch / dinner too. Gaming session starting early tonight with guys. Terrible time again and I really don't know what to do anymore. Go out Thursday instead, and next week will have to dep some money to bank, to pay something to CC again. Stupid wanker. 

2021 DIARY WEEK FIFTY ONE 13th DEC - 19th DEC

Just a couple more weeks left for 2021, will have a few days off later this week as well and last bits of Christmas shopping to do and then we are all done, even got a few bits in for myself and some money to see me through. The important bit is that I need to get into a better position, physically, financially and mentally. More sleep, less stress and try to enjoy life more. Gaming sessions continue on Tuesday and the Sunday this week not sure if we will have a full compliment over Christmas but it's all fine for now. Monday managed to get out and pick up some bits and pieces for me, topped up Oyster card so fine till paid, write last few cards to pop into neighbours later, then need final gifts to wrap. Quite a few off work (ill or leave) and will have to keep busy enough, the evening wasn't up to much just caught up with blogs and also podcasts. Watched the NFL game into the early hours of the morning. Tuesday covered the stand up call and also had a lengthy chat with Simon, then popped out and post a few final cards, also received one from Steve so need his address to get one away there too. Later tonight we've another gaming session, which went off okay, then we will reach Wednesday which is our final day working this week. Good. Shall get out and dispose of the damaged candle and look to pick up a replacement. (sorted) Hopefully today will pass by fine, a work release later tonight and Kempton Blog to update too. Nothing exciting, managed to catch up on the NFL Show that I clearly missed last night too. Julia has invited us over for the Strictly Finale on Saturday so that will be nice, make sure i got a bottle of something to take over there. Off now for a few days, see if we can get some sleep tonight and into Thursday. Went out today to Staines, final shopping (hopefully) got some more cards for birthdays, and some supplies for myself, bit of lunch and headed home. Hayden kindly left some headphones for us to try out, took a bit of fiddling to get them to work okay but we are fine now and all being well they will improve things for the gaming sessions. Another day off on Friday, need to get some wine/chocs to go over to see Julia at the weekend, seem to be fine and have a little cash left over which is nice. We managed to get a few things today, and relaxed during the afternoon, will need some dinners for next weekend but I have enough supplies for the time being, will be out Saturday, our football match on the weekend is called off due to Covid and should be more gaming sessions on Sunday. One more week to go.

2021 DIARY WEEK FIFTY 6th DEC - 12th DEC

Beginning to see the Christmas window approaching, I have begun to send out cards to friends and family and I've almost got enough in for Mrs H, so just some more supplies needed for myself. Wine, Spirits, then I will need something for Xmas dinner (which I am not that fussed about really, as long as I have something in for me plus bread/milk). So Monday we will see how the week starts, I need to visit bank today or tomorrow and deposit some cash, then assuming I can pay final bills, will be fine. End of this week we are out on Friday evening to meet up with a few old school friends, as long as I have enough for that then good. Still feeling rather cold, but will hopefully feel better once I get through this week, Am busy writing cards now to post, on top of things, good. Have a peaceful evening with NFL Game on in the early hours of Tuesday then see how we do during the day, new sprint begins, retro and a gaming session later on in the evening. Was good to see Richard on the session too, was a slow moving opening adventure, shall see how it progresses in coming weeks. Wimbledon beat Accrington 2-0 away which was nice. Head into Wednesday and see what the day brings, should be able to pay bill in morning, and have some money for Friday night out. Not 100% sure about going into office on Thursday as feel a cold coming on. However we were up early and came in on the slow train still the first in the office, see Liz, try and have a good day today, pick up some dinner on way back and also need to prepare for Friday night out. Busy day, got home and did last few cards to post out so aside from few local ones we are almost good to go. Didn't sleep that well into Friday morning but up and ready for action, check we can get out later on to see Jason, Lee etc. Also updated a Cheltenham blog for the weekend and we have more football (vs Wycombe) and the final F1 Grand Prix too. The Friday night out was fun, good to see the guys although Jason a bit late to meet up, excellent Indian food and despite the cold it was a good laugh and enjoyed being out. 

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY NINE 29th NOV - 5th DEC

Okay can we have a nice peaceful week with no anger issues, not sure, but please try. I think you fine having paid bills last week, got most of your Christmas stuff in hand, and will send out birthday cards for Karen and Vicki this week, with the package of cards already away to Australia we should be doing well now. Pick up some bits for yourself later in the week, have a tidy up too, and then make sure your work continues to stand up. Very cold as you might expect now we reach December, slightly better sleep and just glad working at home as much as possible. Monday see how Liz enjoyed her days off and weekend, see what work has in store for us and use up soup, bread for lunch. Did hear from Hannah in Australia that she is expecting another child which is great news, but seems to have split from her partner Cory, which is unfortunate. Might go out tomorrow perhaps, although I fancy something today, loads of people will be off in December so find something to keep myself busy. Fighting to keep warm and a cold at bay, fairly quiet start to the week. See how the evening plays out, and can we catch some sleep after the NFL game in the early hours. Tuesday did get some sleep but the NFL game was lacking in entertainment sadly. It's still cold here, did get out and post cards, picked up some wine, and lunch. Richard has left the D&D group and bailed on the campaign for tonight so unsure what to do with that. See if we can get online with the guys, and then later in week will have to stop losing money as we are well behind once more, try and keep enough for going out on Friday week. Wednesday morning I managed to update other blogs and keep busy, will be up earlier tomorrow too for a trip into the office, there isn't a lot happening but nice to go and see Liz at least. Keep checking that money will be fine, it's not great but we are just about making do, still have £100 in tin and may need that for next Friday night as out with the guys. Long day Thursday and feet are in pain, loads of calls and meetings, got home about 6pm having set out about 12 hours earlier with snow falling. Listening to podcasts and will catch up with an online concert tomorrow. Friday morning and it's still rather cold but working at home continues tried the work laptop and cannot get on VPN will raise a call about this later. Pop out to get lunch, and the afternoon will listen to other podcasts and the Duran Duran concert from last night. Risked a bet this afternoon, need one of them to come in and that would help matters, else we are just about okay for the coming week(s) and will sort the rest out over Xmas. Family birthdays this weekend, and will begin to write Christmas cards to send in the coming week, then all I have left to do is wrap up few bits and pieces for Mrs H and that's it. I even had a few bits and pieces in for myself which is nice. Try and have a good weekend too, find some peace and quiet.

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY EIGHT 22nd NOV - 28th NOV

And breathe...
Almost home and hosed for the month, this week will be paid (Thursday) and also have the day off, with the aim to get more bits sorted for Christmas and sending first batch of cards out to Australia including birthdays for Susan and Hannah. Monday we feeling the cold, but popped out and got some lunch, have plans for the week ahead and just try and keep busy (and warm). Managed a few things today, so just take it easy this week, got music and podcasts to listen to later on, try and get some sleep. Was up till about 3am with the Monday night (Tuesday morning) NFL game on channel five, not the most exciting game so nodded off and got about four hours of sleep/rest before another morning of work and cold. Tuesday is the start of a new sprint and we've a "workshop" later on today too. This evening will have a regular gaming session with the lads, it's a return to Richard as DM and the Curse of Strahd campaign. Sadly I was very distracted and the night was not that adventurous, just lots of talking with little action. So bailed out of that around 10pm and will just have to forget that tonight. Wimbledon won 3-2 against the bottom side, should have done better out of that though, and if can stay up for the NFL show later will hopefully make it into Wednesday. Going to have another long 'workshop' all afternoon, so will aim to get out earlier and visit post office to send Australian cards to Sue, then pick up some lunch on way home. Cards sent out, stamps bought and will get out on Thursday too, got up and out to Kingston, wasn't anything exciting going on so did what I needed and grabbed some lunch then headed back home. Bit of a mixed afternoon and trying to rest and stop being so upset/angry with myself. We made it to Friday, sort out a few more bills, and look ahead to December. Paid my rent, think we just about square going forwards with some cash on me too which will help. Bought lunch, try and have a nice afternoon, then rest over the weekend. Keep well, football and gaming sessions to come. 

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY SEVEN 15th NOV - 21st NOV

Cold mornings, dark, tired, and still suffering with the after effects of my covid jab which has caused me aches and pains in my left arm, hopefully as this week progresses we can see some improvement. Start the week off on Monday by keeping busy with work stuff, I should have stuff at home to do lunches so maybe no need to go out today. Hopefully the arm is getting better now, I will keep trying to move it and rest, see if we can get some more sleep too. The night was not too bad, up about 4am and then did get a few hours after that, very cloudy and grey outside today, won't be going out till tomorrow I guess and need to find something to keep me busy workwise. Listen to podcasts and iron couple of tops for rest of the week. There's a late night NFL game as usual later and then perhaps some sleep before another long day on Tuesday. Will at least aim to get out and some shopping plus lunch today, did that a trip around Tesco, got lunch in and should be okay for later in week. There is another gaming session later on tonight as well as we begin to near the end of this part of Mad Mage. It's cold outside, I don't have a huge amount to do today but will need to find something to keep busy. NFL round up show late on tonight too (missed the last 10 mins), then see if you can sleep better into Wednesday morning - was awake about 4am but managed couple of hours again thankfully. Hopefully can keep busy on Wednesday, and get stuff ready for a return to office in morning. Cold, but managed to get through the day, bath and ready for the morning, still feel uncomfortable about the gaming sessions and struggling in them later on, maybe with a change of direction and characters for next week we can get back into it. Aiming to be up early on Thursday morning and head in, can also bring home something for dinner in evening too. Okay day in the office, see Liz, Andrew and Sara, loads of meetings and trying to keep busy. Picked up couple of things on way home as planned and had dinner, with a fairly early night. Friday morning, survive the day and work out what to do over the weekend, didn't go out today, maybe need a few bits on the weekend but basically made it through and will have plans for next week. More F1, football (vs Portsmouth) and horse racing on this weekend, plus gaming sessions as we get closer to a return for the Strahd campaign led by Richard. 

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY SIX 8th NOV - 14th NOV

Remembrance week (11th November of course), We begin with a day off on Monday and aim to get out to Kingston on the buses with view to find a few things to begin our Christmas shopping off with. Have bought cards and birthdays so will need to start getting those written up to send to Australia before too long. I've messed up again and have no money, so we need to see out these next couple of weeks as safely as you can, will go into the office on Thursday and try to enjoy the gaming nights with the guys. Let's see if the week can improve in any way, have money on Oyster to get us through and some money on card to help too. Spend time writing up other blogs, gaming, and working hard. Had the covid booster jab last weekend and I have a sore upper arm as a result, hopefully that will pass soon enough. Monday struggled this morning and glad I didn't have to get up early, arm is feeling a lot worse and I only went local for a few bits today, updated other blogs and basically rested listening to podcasts and music. Also had a mail from an old colleague Steve and replied to him, perhaps arrange a coffee or something soon with him. The lets see how I feel on Tuesday morning, any better and could we sleep at all? Was up in the night following the NFL game live on channel five, then a few hours of sleep but still in pain, logged onto the calls in the morning and try to keep moving. It's feeling worse as the day progresses, stayed indoors, try and get through tonight's gaming session with the guys and see how things are on the morning. Wednesday, if still in pain I need to sort out something, very sore, however I did get some sleep as don't recall being up in night till about 6am. Arm is very sore, I will keep using paracetamol today, needing to go out too and get some milk / bread. Checked money situation and seem to just about be okay, though card still needs to be paid in couple of weeks time. Survive today, jump in a bath, decide if going to office on Thursday or not, looks unlikely at the moment. Using the suggested massage techniques from Wendy to see if this can help at all. Need to jump in a bath later, just worried about getting out as I don't think I can support myself on one arm. Will do something I'm sure. Worked at home again, seems the Accountancy release was fine, good. Updated other blogs for Cheltenham which is on from Friday - Sunday. I need to update one for Dads too this weekend. See how you get along tonight and Friday morning be up for the morning stand up calls. Hope you can get through the next week or two, managed some sleep though despite up around 2am, sore upper arm, try and keep moving it. Go out later on and get lunch and some bits for the weekend. Managed to get through the day, work, been out, listened to podcasts and music. Still very sore, hopefully I can keep moving and get by this weekend. No domestic football for us as it's International weekend, racing at Cheltenham to watch later, missed it Friday. Will also try and avoid the results of the F1 this weekend and catch up the highlights on Ch4 later.

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY FIVE 1st NOV - 7th NOV

Into November now and after the clocks went back the darkness is longer, Liz is off this week so no accompaniment at work plus I will have my booster Covid jab on Saturday. Think about how to improve myself this week, I am always struggling, I need to feel better. Find something to keep busy with, also have one eye on money situation and improve that too, will have next Monday off again and aim to go out to Kingston perhaps, visit bank and that sort of thing. Back to this week Monday try and keep busy though it's quite cold now, listing to podcasts in morning and hopefully all will be well. Kept busy and had a little luck in the afternoon which will hopefully help with the week ahead. A work release on Monday night too, then perhaps we will be gaming again on Tuesday having seen the last few sessions cancelled. All being well going to pop out on Tuesday and get few bits in for me then see how the rest of the day plays out. Was up watching a poor NFL game in the small hours, then managed a few hours sleep. It's a very cold and crisp looking morning, find something to keep myself occupied today. Overall had a nice day, kept busy, picked up a few things, and the evening gaming was good fun, action, near death and a nice change. Managed some sleep too which was a rare treat. Wednesday morning another cold start, tried to keep warm and be busy, not really getting much help from elsewhere, but shall need to plan for tomorrow, not going into office, will need to visit bank. too and also have a card to send for Gabriel's birthday. Now having booked my booster jab for Saturday afternoon, I really need to have a good three weeks of peace. See if you managed to sleep at all into Thursday morning, though up about 2am managed to get back off till around 7am which was good for a change, work at home today as full of cold, also go to bank too. Picked up a few things, had a mixed afternoon but we made progress, have sent a few messages and then received one back from Fabrizio which was nice. Onto Friday and survived a week here, need to be good to myself over the next few weeks now. Another day off looms into view on Monday though and should be able to see this one through now if we are careful. Weekend aside from the booster, we have FA Cup action as AFC Wimbledon host Guiseley AFC in the first round proper, and more gaming sessions on Sunday to enjoy.

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY FOUR 25th OCT - 31st OCT

Start of the final week of October, and it's not going well once again. Might just have enough to survive however you really not helping yourself in any way. Will have to see how things are going on Wednesday, and also have the Friday off but unsure what I can do now, need to have Christmas cards and birthdays sorted for Australia soon too. Paid on Monday, can sort out a few bills, but nothing left for me and could be worse. Might be able to have a little for me, so I can at least send birthday cards this month, generally found today difficult to get through, but all I can do is one day at a time. The early hours NFL game was so dull that I did manage to get some sleep through to half four, then we reach Tuesday and a new working sprint begins, need to go out and collect rent money to pay out, then tonight we should have a gaming session with the guys. The day really wasn't great for me, now have four weeks to survive which I can do if I know my bills are covered. Gaming was hard to focus as some technical issues but we go there. Missed last 10-15 mins of the NFL show and will need to catch up with that in morning. Wednesday, feeling low which is not unexpected, began the day badly, but later in afternoon got a little better. Managed to find an unexpected win in my account, which will (hopefully) mean I am not worrying for the next four weeks. Then set alarm for an early start on Thursday as I will go into the office and see Liz, probably not there next week, also planning for Friday off. Posted off a birthday card for a friend's son, arrived in the office nice and early, picked up a few things for later and generally had a busy day in office. Podcasts and programs to catch up on once I get home then on Friday I have a day off and plan to go out somewhere even though the forecast is for rain. See how you are on Friday morning itself but be ready to get out if you can, even in spite of the rain, not urgent but will be good to pick up few bits. Try and bring home something nice for dinner too, or think about the weekend ahead. Should be better for a few days now at least. Been out but ended up in Staines instead of Kingston, raining though still managed to get 90% of what I went out for plus a free coffee and lunch. Home for the afternoon and try to be safe, got the cards I needed plus some stamps, can send Aussie ones out before end November and birthdays for Vicki and Karen. Weekend should be quiet, have cash for the week ahead, watch Dr Who and follow AFC Wimbledon vs Cambridge. 

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY THREE 18th OCT - 24th OCT

Monday morning, we look to get through this week without further drama and all being well can get things sorted at the end of the week. Have an early morning appointment on Monday to have my eye screening (9:50am) so nip out in morning, and pick up few bits later on for lunch and the week ahead. All done and back home for 11am, so will need to do some work bits later on too, updating the other blogs and listen to a few podcasts / radio shows while eyes recover. Did enough in the afternoon, need to plan the rest of the week out, if we can make it to Thursday in reasonable condition then we might just be fine, then it's a case of being okay for not only the week ahead but the month(s) going forwards too. Tuesday morning, have you slept at all? No! Been unwell in the night, so had a day off ill for a change, slept in till late morning and ensure that there are no further episodes. Cried off the gaming session too and will have a peaceful night. Listen to podcasts this afternoon and plan other blogs for end of week. In and out night of sleep, listening to the heavy rain for a fair part, need to catch the last 10-15 mins of the NFL show as nodded off. Wednesday morning back to working, attending calls etc. Will prepare some stuff for a return to the office on Thursday morning. Day did pass off okay though, won on a couple of small bets in evening and will be ready to sort something out on Thursday. Blogs updated for Friday and will then do some for Dads too this week. Alarm set for an early start on Thursday heading into office with plenty to do I guess. No Amol but will see Liz, plan to leave about 3:30pm. A better day than earlier in the week, lets try and keep that going over the weekend too. Did manage some sleep into Friday morning which was nice, though once again have let myself down today and looks like another poor month. Try and make things better over the weekend if you can, plan day off for next Friday and share some love with others. Windy as I go out today. Feeling Sad

Plan something to look forward to

Plan things to look forward to and you’ll always be looking ahead with optimism. Plan to meet a friend next week or month for lunch, dinner or a film. Plan a fun family trip for next summer. Plan a way to celebrate a forthcoming holiday or special occasion with the people you love. Plan a play date with your child. Plan to hike a mountain you’ve always dreamed of climbing or to visit an old friend or relative you don’t see very often.

Feeling good takes planning and forethought. However when you plan things to look forward to, even the anticipation feels good.

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY TWO 11th OCT - 17th OCT

Monday and we sit here with no money, a debt due and no idea what the future holds for you. So have a cuppa, see how you survive this week one way or another. Got a day off on Tuesday and plans to pop out, hopefully the weather is nice enough, but need to survive Monday first of all. Busy enough day to begin the week we had plenty of meetings and will update docs for the end of the sprint. Have a peaceful afternoon and evening then you are ready for a day out Tuesday, not going far, but it will help the week if you can keep busy. Up early enough, ready to catch 10-10:30am buses, should get over to Staines about 11-11:30 and spend a few hours there. Did okay, got pretty much everything I was after there including birthday cards, and few others. Home for the afternoon and will relax with a gaming night later on, still no Gareth sadly, see how you feel during the evening, it was a fairly stop / start affair, but okay in the end. Also try not to forget the NFL show on BBC2 at 11:15 this week, caught most of it will need to see the last 5-10 mins again as I nodded off. Hopefully okay on Wednesday morning, foot still sore, need to pop out for lunch later, a Kempton blog to update tonight, then prepare for journey to office on Thursday morning. Wednesday passed off fairly steadily, will be up very early on Thursday morning and catch 6am bus/train. Very busy day, nice to see Liz, Amol, but got away around 4pm and picked up some dinner. Updating other blogs for the weekend, there is an NFL game this Sunday too. Friday working at home again, will go out later and get some lunch but generally need to have a peaceful week, catch up on other podcasts too then plan something for the weekend. Saturday will have AFC Wimbledon vs Sheffield Wednesday, then there is another London NFL game with Miami Dolphins playing Jacksonville Jaguars.

Vary your routine

Fitness experts recommend that you vary your routine to get the maximum benefits from exercise alternating cardiovascular and strength training exercises to avoid boredom and muscle injury. It’s a good idea to vary your routine in other areas of your life as well;

• Try new foods, visit new places and meet new people.

• Change everyday routines.

• Take on a new challenge at work.

• Do something unfamiliar, besides rushing off in the same old direction.

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY ONE 4th OCT - 10th OCT

Three weeks to go for October and we still feel we need to survive. Hopefully it feels a bit better now, have plenty to do and also to make a plan for next Tuesday as we are off, I am not sure why I picked that week I guess it's the sprint retro and stuff, but anyway lets focus on this week first. Monday get back into the swing of things, will need a trip to the bank on Tuesday morning but we will be fine if we are careful. There is a meeting at Pontefract to update during the afternoon and more blogs to create during this week. Monday night NFL football will carry us into Tuesday morning the game was delayed and I bailed out after 3am managing to get a little sleep which was nice. Will need to get out to the bank to pay in money that will cover the final cc bill this month, then we need to get through the next few weeks and plan next month better. Bank was quiet (empty) so we got that sorted straight away, then picked up some bits and also lunch, the afternoon was mixed, work rather frustrating, but we did claw back some money and will pay our bill on Wednesday hopefully. A gaming session later on tonight with the guys and then the NFL show to watch. How are things looking on Wednesday morning? What a terrible day, you should have been able to fund your bill this week, you instead fail and lost over half of what you put aside and lost the wins from yesterday. As a result I think you will only be part paid with the rest coming later in the month. Stupid. Didn't go out today, used up some supplies but ready for another trip into the office on Thursday morning, with an early alarm set. Got into office for 6:20am with breakfast acquired, will leave about 3:30pm and head home. Still feel rough, try and have a better Friday and weekend too. Friday was up later, working at home today, we have a really long meeting during the afternoon, way too long really, but I have been out and got some milk and things for the weekend. Updated other blogs, need to be nice to myself this weekend too. NFL on, no football for us as Internationals on instead. Plan what to do on your day off next Tuesday (12th) and also cut hair, enjoy gaming nights this Sunday too. 

2021 DIARY WEEK FORTY 27th SEPT - 3rd OCT

A pivotal week ahead, I think I might be in trouble, we will not know until Wednesday I guess, keep hoping we are going to get through. I think that Monday helped in a small way, plenty of work to do, didn't go out at all, but chat with Liz, Jenny and added Derek into our small group. Money side I think I might be okay now, will tell later in week, need to plan the day out on Thursday, and with Liz on Friday too. NFL game to watch into Tuesday morning and see if we can then have a decent week. Well we has some success on the American Football, staying up till about 4am to catch most of the action. Tuesday morning been out for few things, lunch too, meetings in afternoon and need to finish updating the Kempton blog as well as the football for next weekend against Burton. Gaming night later tonight without Gareth and Richard so it's another Sunday session to carry on with I guess. Wimbledon play Rotherham too (result), then we will see how I feel on Wednesday morning with the plan to have a day off unwell and leave them to it, since I am off Thur/Fri I won't have to worry about them till next Monday. Good. Have done just that, so will see about nipping out later on for lunch, but overall the day hasn't been that great, listened to a few podcasts which was good but lost money again and failed with the football bets as Chelsea let me down badly. Contacted Sarah and cancelled Thursday as I don't feel like travelling far, even so I need to be out somewhere then so might be a run to the crematorium at Hanworth, take camera, maybe take some pictures of trains too and begin some new blogs. Swap the trains around on display put the others away. Ensure that you are going to be fine to meet Liz on Friday in Richmond/Kew. Did some ironing after losing more money, one more success away from getting it back so will that happen for me? Well for a change it DID so now we have to ensure that it's not all lost.  but sadly the rest of the day failed to stay on track and did indeed lose in the end. Friday morning, raining, but Liz encouraged me to go out later, and we did head up to Kew Gardens, lovely walk, feet ache a lot but it was worth it, climbed to the elevated tower, saw the temperate house and a museum there is plenty we still didn't explore though. Picked up a few things for dinner, and the afternoon started badly it certainly swung around in our favour later, paid Vincent the £30 for the D&D sessions too. This weekend AFC Wimbledon play Burton, and the Arc meeting in France takes place.

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY NINE 20th SEPT - 26th SEPT

Good morning, another start to the week during which at least we'll be paid and can sort few more things out perhaps. Slept a little better, only up once, which might have been due to the change of bedding although the gaming session wasn't good and I still feel very tired. A chilly day, but dry, consider popping out today or tomorrow, been out this morning, few bits including something to give the carpet a clean? Lunch secured, home for the afternoon and keeping busy. Used up bread and milk today so will nip out again Tuesday locally and maybe a few things on Wednesday. Still feeling fairly tired, slept sporadically during the night again, up watched some of the NFL Monday night game which Green Bay won 35-17 against Detroit. See how Tuesday goes, meetings and calls as usual, found things to do and only went out locally for a walk and lunch. Ironed few bits for later in the week, cut/shave hair and we have a gaming session on Tuesday night but still no Gareth sadly as he has his own issues to resolve. Praying that it will go well and I can get some reasonable sleep into Wednesday. The gaming was better than last week but still not really involved, usually cannot get a word in with the others but they are enjoying it I guess and it might be better once my mind is less occupied. Up most of the night into Wednesday morning, writing this at 4am still, will aim to go out sometime today if only to pick up some lunch. Did so into Tesco, few bits for weekend and home for a rather torrid afternoon and evening, we are starring down another horrible start to the next month. Into office early on Thursday morning and see Liz, busy day but also caught up on some podcasts. Aiming to leave before 4pm as I was here by 7am, seems fair. Work at home on Friday. Heard from Beatrix in Germany, still suffering with flood damage but otherwise seems well, shall reply again later tonight. See how things are on Friday morning and hopefully paid so sort some bills out. Although I got paid and even managed some sleep I started another month without any money and lost the lot, every month the same now, it's really getting to me. I need a break, the two days off next week I should be out, I hope I still can do this, it will be another hard month but there is a possible chance we survive it. Paid some bills, sort out Oyster and get rent out by Monday. You are a clown, and have no will power but sometimes you need to help yourself. Bad. Saturday morning at least clawed a small amount back for you and covered the football but it's a long long road ahead this month. Pay bills, hopefully on Wednesday next week you can check that you are in a safer place. Be good. Happy birthday to Richard too. x

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY EIGHT 13th SEPT - 19th SEPT

Two weeks to see through, and after last weekends excitement perhaps this week will be more relaxing, the excitement of course was Emma Raducanu winning the US Open Tennis title as an 18yo in only her second major appearance, also the first qualifier to win a Grand Slam title. Added to AFC Wimbledon's ding dong with Morecambe which ended 4-3 to the Dons with an Ayoub Assal 94th minute strike. Having had a good return over the weekend for a change we managed to pay a bill that had been on my mind for a while and that should help matters during the coming weeks, a tiny amount left for me but we will be okay. Listen to catch up programs on iplayer while working and we have the usual sprint meetings for work. Was up in the night watching most of the NFL game that was shown live on Channel 5. Should have stayed with it to the end as the final quarter was a cracker. Tuesday raining, but did usual sprint ceremonies, have meetings in afternoon and a gaming session tonight with the guys. Will see if the rain stops and I can get out briefly for some lunch, sadly it didn't and we had more meetings so I will add a little more to my Oyster card and have funds to see us through then go out on Wednesday now. The evening gaming session was really bad, no flow and couldn't get in most of the evening. Need to watch the NFL show later on BBC2, Praying that Wednesday might be a better day. Sadly fell asleep and missed the tv show, have set it to play again later on this afternoon. Set an early alarm for Thursday, need to get in office, be busy and see Liz, will pick up few bits on the way home and we step a little closer to our goals. Have a think about what I can do over the weekend, no money but should be able to have a ride out somewhere? Be good not to be stuck indoors all weekend as usual. Managed to get in early enough, there was a later fatality on the trains sadly so others were a little late. Survive the day, bring home dinner, make plans for the weekend. Won and lost some money in the evening which was annoying but I've only played up from a small free bet so hasn't really cost me anything. Contacted Sarah and planning on going to Bognor for Thursday 30th when I am off, just a day trip will do me well to go out for a change. Worked from home on Friday as struggling for sleep and loads of worries, been out early morning for milk and breakfast, now try and rest for the weekend. Up again into Saturday morning but did manage a little more sleep later which was most welcome, been out early doors for weekend shopping and breakfast. AFC Wimbledon vs Plymouth later.

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY SEVEN 6th SEPT - 12th SEPT

Day off on Monday 6th to begin our week, hopefully can resolve my money issues this week one way or another. If that is sorted then I should really get out, perhaps buses to Kingston and relax by the river too. Nope I couldn't get through on the phone today so ended up not going out far at all. Just listened to podcasts, resting, see how the week ahead plans out. It's getting warmer here and humid, probably a rough night of no sleep over the coming few days, we will see. Up all of Tuesday early hours, getting only an hour or so of 'sleep' and up to join the stand-up in the nick of time. Go out locally only today, still need to find money to cover myself and hopefully send card for Lavinia birthday. Thankfully we sorted that and also made the call to M&S which hopefully will also help matters in the long run. Gaming night later on Tuesday evening, without Gareth, will see how that goes for us too. Then probably no sleep again so maybe go for a wander out? Wednesday morning should be a little easier perhaps, we can go get some money out and shopping too. Write card for Lavinia and post that on Thursday ! Good. Still not the best of days today, but we got through, and perhaps up and away quite early on Thursday morning, get in early and away early too. Need to get through the next two weeks, have also done a payment holiday for the loan for next month so little extra ready then. The morning was not great, though we rested for an hour or so downstairs the room is a nightmare, clothes covered, left home about 4am and came in on underground, feeling rough now. Get Lavinia's birthday card and money away and that's something I guess. Had a chat with Liz, early on, began to show my emotions and worries, think it helped, and have suggested we meetup 1st Oct to do Kew Gardens? Another disrupted night again into Friday morning, followed the NFL start of the season along with the excellent win for Emma Raducanu in the US Open Tennis too. Left home early once more and finally got in around 6.30am picking up breakfast on the way through too and there's no one else in the IT/Dev team except myself and Bill. Aiming to leave just before 4pm, get home with something for dinner. Got home and didn't have a lot to do tonight, was worried about another night without sleep, which surprisingly I didn't manage to get some although still up couple of times which was better. Saturday covered the morning greyhounds, won a little bit of money and will hopefully be cheering on AFC Wimbledon against Morecambe today which was a real battle and a 4-3 win for the Dons in the 94th minute (thank you) then we have the tennis with a British girl in the final. Go Emma.

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY SIX 30th AUG - 5th SEPT

Final bank holiday weekend of the year before Christmas on Monday to start our week off, nice short working week as I had Friday and Monday booked in with the original plan to have been a trip up to Newcastle to see Dave and Jacqui McCaffrey, with a Big Country gig on but I think that is now planned for 2022 sometime. Besides which I have no funds (as usual) and trying to find a way to get through yet another month. We haven't had the best of weekends, although Wimbledon did well to come from behind and draw 2-2 with Ipswich, in a couple of weeks we have Arsenal away in the 3rd round of the League Cup too. Bank Holiday wasn't brilliant, but we did pop out, then lost money, so probably need to find something from somewhere? Shirts done for the morning and we will see how the rest of the week turns out. Tuesday morning didn't fancy getting up at all, but we managed some things in the morning, did not go out anywhere, also failed to join the evening call with guys as I thought it had been cancelled. Again no sleep into Wednesday morning up from 2am, though managed to get back off till alarm sounded at 8am today, it's the first day with the new IT manager in (Bill?) so looking fine for the stand up. Will need to pop out bit later, have moved drafty money over and have £60 to deposit on Friday. It seems that Mrs. Hughes and Joe are away to visit Vince / Ciara and grandchildren this weekend so I can look to get dinners in and rest. In the office on Thursday have much to do and no funds. feeling sad now. Try and have a good day, bring home something for tea, was a very busy day and we did plenty, no introduction from the new IT manager though, thought he might at least say hello to the three of us in the office on the team. Then get out on Friday morning, and make some plans for the rest of the weekend too. We have a Pontefract racing meeting to update Friday night too which we managed a small profit again also over the weekend we have AFC Wimbledon playing host to Oxford on Saturday which we won 3-1 so that's a nice way to enjoy the weekend. While there's more F1 action too, I have the house to myself most of the weekend so will rest and trying not to worry all day about money.

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY FIVE 23rd AUG - 29th AUG

Monday 23rd, all being well getting paid on Wednesday this week. Still working at home from Monday - Wednesday yet I feel really tired all the time still and up through the night, already on Monday was up from 3am till about 6am and only got back for a couple of hours 'sleep' if that. Although the situation is not great we did at least cover the money and will have to work things out on Wednesday, sorted blogs for the week ahead, and trying to get through some work too. Also preparing for a finale gaming session on Tuesday which could be brutal, might be the end of the Paladin, which is fine, ensure that I use up my supplies then. Try and get some sleep into Tuesday morning, wasn't great, but having stayed up till around 5am did get three hours rest later, not brilliant, aim to go out today either local shop or into Feltham as need few bits. A similar story on Wednesday though paid and got some money out, need to get some rent out tomorrow, while we will also be going into the office. Rest of Wednesday was okay ish, we got plenty done, bins out, bath and just some soup and pasta for dinner. Struggled during the night so up and out on Thursday by 6am, into office for 7:30 with breakfast secured, only Amol and Michael in our team, Liz is off, got home around 5:30 which was nice, picked up some dinner too, and we've got a dog visiting for a day or two as well. See how you get through to Friday, which we managed a slightly better night of sleep, up and out again to reach the office for 7:30, seems to be just me in the IT team today, ought to get enough sorted and return home early as before. Long weekend ahead, plenty of football and racing on, AFC Wimbledon vs Ipswich Town on Saturday with some F1 action too. It's a bank holiday weekend so hopefully can get some more rest in on Monday.

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY FOUR 16th AUG - 22nd AUG

Must try and survive this week, taking Friday off to give us a break though might just have a ride over to Staines again or Kingston perhaps? Not much funds as usually and really want to get something for myself next month, plus having days off during September would be nice to have days out or to get away. Managed some sleep on Sunday/Monday which was nice, and up for the start of another week. Hopefully we can repeat that, enjoyed the gaming session last night and might be on again on Tuesday if Richard and Gareth are free, seems that Richard cannot join and is on holiday in the Lake District so we ought to defer again. Windy day on Monday and will see if we can get through without too much drama. Was not brilliant, and not happy generally but we did get some money together for myself to help this week. Into Tuesday, a gaming session later tonight with the Sunday crew, finishing that particular module. Been out today and got some more supplies for the week, little bit better sleep but not a full night sadly and then the evening an awful release with problems. Gaming session wasn't too bad though, and need to level up two characters before the weekend. Wednesday morning, again interrupted sleep but we managed some which was good. Try and get on top of issues we found yesterday. Just local shopping this lunchtime as we've some cash, then it'll be set alarms for the morning with another early start expected. We did manage to resolve issues today, which ought to make me feel much better. No doubts that there will be more issues to come however at least these are resolved. Will be up and out early on Thursday into the office, let's see what is in store for us then. as it turned out was not in office as not feeling 100% and stayed home. Also had messages from Julia to meet her on Friday in Staines which is nice and I will ensure I am up and out to do so then, then sadly that got cancelled as Ju's has an Osteopath session, that's okay we will still go out and get a few bits for myself. Bad news is that I lost £20 stupidly, now we need to sort that out over the weekend, but hopefully we have a plan for that. Friday arrives, go out as planned on buses to Staines, get a few bits and come back later, it was fine, about 3+ hours including journeys, picked up what I needed and home to watch racing at York, listen to radio and podcasts and rest. The weekend will just be a peaceful one, as long as I can sort out the money issue for Monday. Let's try and get some peace and enjoy the gaming session on Sunday too then look into next week.

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY THREE 9th AUG - 15th AUG

This week, we need to try and find a way to get £15-20 back to bank else we are behind. We should have sufficient supplies to see us through, there are no gaming sessions till next Sunday as some of the guys are on holiday, or moving etc. Hopefully Monday will be nice, have plenty to do for first few days, and try to update other blogs too. Have no money, and it's likely to be touch and go between now and next pay day. Managed to get through Monday though, loads of work and also updated other blogs too. Not too much sleep again, up from about 3am Tuesday though got couple of hours later on and while still working at home it's been ok. I popped out in morning to a) top up the Oyster card, and b) picked up few bits in Tesco which will see me through the week. No gaming tonight but will return to that on Sunday, once the guys are back from holidays. Another 3am rise on Wednesday morning, did get back off for a couple of hours later though missed the early radio shows I had saved, will catch up with those later today. Hopefully a good day will only pop out locally for lunch and then need to be ready for an office return on Thursday. Was again up from very early with barely 2-3 hours sleep, however have managed to get the few quid needed to cover shortfall so will now be able to have a more stress free week ahead. Might well go in early if still up and grab breakfast on route? yes we were up and away at 5am, waiting about for the 05:45 service into London, picked up breakfast and in office for around 06:30. Long day, nice to see Liz, began to struggle towards the latter part of the afternoon though and did manage to get home with something for dinner. Considering doing something similar Friday, although really need some sleep. As it turned out I stayed home was completely worn out without sleep this week. Then having managed to get my head down for a couple of hours in the morning did some work, and will have to go out on Saturday morning instead all being well. 

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY TWO 2nd AUG - 8th AUG

Another week, and will be back in office end of it, sadly. Also expecting Vince and children down for a few days I think, hopefully they will be okay on the living room floor?? Had a good week of racing last time at Goodwood and Galway, now we are looking ahead to the beginning of the football season as AFC Wimbledon begin League One with an away trip to Doncaster Rovers on Saturday. Monday was loads of stress and meetings, but we worked through it and now will update other blogs for Kempton and Pontefract this week. Evening chatting with Vince, hopefully can get out later in week for a beer or curry? Not a huge amount of sleep overnight, but slightly better than most nights of late, Tuesday wasn't a great start though but hopefully it can just pass by, will pop out later and just get couple of bits locally for lunch then see how the afternoon goes. Sleep is still very erratic, getting a few hours here and there, up with the Olympics on to follow, and try to find something to do on Wednesday including popping out to Tesco for a few things which I did, the rest of the day however wasn't that good. Up early morning on Thursday and headed into the office, which was nice to see Liz as always, and just got on with my work as much as I could. Brought home some dinner, and try to rest in preparation of the weekend ahead. See if Friday can go off without too much fuss, and remember to bring home some rolls etc so I can get through the weekend. Have booked off a day later in month to help with the Oyster card situation. Thought I had my money situation better placed, then Friday evening that's not great, will see if we can claw it back again in the coming two weeks. the day at work seemed to drag and on, only Redmond and myself in office, tried to leave early only to get caught in the rain and the train broke down too, that's my life now I guess, nothing good happening. Vince still here with the children till the weekend, been nice to see him, only wish we had been out but that's just one of those things at the moment. Time to try and get better, in just over two weeks that is your aim now. Weekend ahead, is start of the League One season, see how Wimbledon do. Perhaps reach out and email a few people. 

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY ONE 26th JULY - 1st AUG

Same old story, every month, done all my money again (and more too) so another month of feeling low, fed up and know that you cannot change this. Got a little cash on the hip, enough for a week, and will survive on credit cards rest of the month as long as we continue to work at home most of the week. Will be off on Thursday and Friday this week so plan some activity and get out of the house, need to do this, with gaming nights on Tuesday and Sunday this will again be a difficult month unless I find something to do and a change to the routine. Have Galway and Goodwood racing on to update blogs and that will help, then update some more for Dads (done two so far for August) and end the month with a positive outlook. Monday I struggled for sleep most of the night once more, sorted out rent and other bills, still unclear if we going to be okay this month, nothing more I can do till later in the week though but pray. See if you can rest into Tuesday? Fat chance, been up from 1am, after barely couple of hours rest, will be a long day. Was not a great day at all, no money, long month ahead, and the guys called the gaming nights off for a week or two as well. Cannot sleep, really struggling with my thoughts too. Wednesday managed about two hours and shall just have to make do. Get bins out and have a bath tonight, am then off for couple of days and will need to go out or do something. See if you can get over to Staines on Thursday and spend a bit of time out? been up since about 3am, it's going to be a struggle, please try, you can do this, well you never made it that far today so try and get it done on Friday instead. Watched the Olympics, and racing too, updating other blogs. Cut/shaved hair, and changed the trains around. I need to get some of them out for a run soon? See how you feel on Friday morning, aim to head out about 10am on buses to Staines today. Yes we went out, got wet as the rains came, picked up a few supplies, there's nothing wonderful in Staines now, loads of buildings have gone and are now flats. Had a coffee, came home and update more blogs then will rest and see what the weekend has in store.  Vincent and his children coming here on Sunday although Gabrial will have football course to attend for a week, have tidied up but absolutely no money left, sad, but you will just have to get through with just over three weeks to go.

2021 DIARY WEEK THIRTY 19th JULY - 25th JULY

Will need to survive this week with the heat, and hopefully getting paid on Friday too. It's Joseph's 50th so have a card and get some lotto too for him on Friday and leave at home. We start on Monday with the so called 'freedom day' and although masks still needed on public transport will see if we can begin to stop using them, also social distancing begins to relax, although still working at home as work will not change their plans till end of July at the earliest? So let's see how Monday is for us, can we get any sleep, well the simple answer there would be 'nope' up from about 2am today and feeling rough. Didn't do much today, too warm, but we made it through and if we get past midweek it should slowly get a little easier. See if you can get any rest at all tonight then into Tuesday which will see start of a new sprint and also a gaming session in the evening. Not much sleep, feel rough still and will try and get out briefly this morning for some supplies, then a nice relaxing bath before the gaming session with the guys tonight, the session was good, although very tired still and did only get couple of hours rest. Might see some storms later this afternoon / early evening which might be nice, yes they came about 5pm. How do we feel into Wednesday now? Bit better but do fancy bailing out on the days in the office if I can. Spoken with Derek as he's leaving but generally another bad day though, losing money ... this is not changing, and too hot, so have bailed out of Thursday so not travelling into office. What a terrible day and another month of misery ahead, why you keep doing this to yourself I cannot understand but clearly you have a massive problem to overcome this next month will be another struggle. Still it is done now so you have to get on with it, not working in office today again, feel very rough, need to improve on Friday and get out too well we did get out today, which was something but the rest of the day was really poor again. Nine years since Dad passed away too and nothing I have done in the past few days would have been considered respectful really. What I do now the rest of the year might define what happens for the remainder of my life. 

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY NINE 12th JULY - 18th JULY

So did it come home? No it did not !

Losing on penalties hurts more this time in a final, we didn't create enough and Italy were the better side after they recovered from going 1-0 down in two minutes. Will just have to get my head down and get over the disappointment and have a good week. Not slept well into Monday and will need to get out this morning for some air and few bits in Tesco I think. Managed a quick run out, picked up some lunch too, demo later in morning and just rest if you can. Had plenty to do and then the evening just watched some Tv, making plans to go out on later in week, up from 3am on Tuesday morning, loads of meetings today and we will stay home today including lunchtime, with a gaming session later on tonight need some rest as currently feel very tired. All being well try and sleep better tonight and am off on leave Wednesday with a view to going out on the buses to Staines perhaps? Did go out but we didn't reach Staines at all, just picked up few bits locally and came home again. Not in the mood for traipsing about today, feet still sore and with little to no money I might as well just get some lunch and bits in for the week ahead. Should be okay now, will listen to music and podcasts to get through the afternoon, had a nice exchange online with Lee, and also guys regarding gaming sessions, but avoiding looking at work stuff for now. If we can get to Thursday and have a day working at home then we've a week to go till paid again, so try and survive. Awake from 3am again, it's warming up too so expect to struggle over the coming week sadly, stayed in and did plenty today with Liz and Amol off Friday will just need to do the stand up tomorrow, and a task for lunchtime. Expecting warmer weather in the coming week which might not help with the sleep but will see. Friday morning, was again up early, did the stand up call and a few bits of work, then went out lunchtime and got supplies for the weekend. It's warming up but nice breeze about which helped. Watch the British F1 Grand Prix this weekend, new sprint qualifying this time, first friendlies in football begin and our first game is about two weeks away. Afc Wimbledon hosting newly promoted Premier League Brentford having just signed one of their promising young forwards too, will be able to watch it on Brentford's YouTube channel from 3pm. It's beginning to come together.

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY EIGHT 5th JULY - 11th JULY

This could be a momentous week ahead, England breezed past Ukraine on Saturday 4-0 in Rome setting up a semi final against Denmark. The squad will be back at Wembley on Wednesday night to hopefully secure a place in the Final on Sunday 11th against either Spain or Italy who play their semi final on Tuesday night (Italy won on pens). Wimbledon continues this week too and we've a British interest still in the ladies draw, Emma Raducanu, only eighteen and awaiting her A Level results made it through to the second week of the tournament ranked 338th in the world and beat an opponent nearly 300 places higher. So how will Monday begin for us? Hopefully a good week to take my mind off my own issues. Well the final loan payment has gone through and the account shows as 'closed' so will give it a week and terminate the direct debit in my bank, but the prospects look good and therefore from end July I ought to have a few quid more for myself (if I don't blow it all as I usually do). I even won a few quid today which was nice, had enough out to help me through the week ahead and also allows me to send friend's son a birthday card which wasn't sure I could do before now. Good. Try and take this positive news forwards into Tuesday. Could have started better, was up a few times in the night, start of a new sprint at work and I'll aim to get out later this morning for some supplies, I will be off tomorrow and working at home the rest of the week. More tennis on later, plus a race meeting at Pontefract to update then tonight we have the first of the Euro 2020 semi finals between Italy and Spain, a victory on penalties for Italy who progress to the final on Sunday. Day off on Wednesday so have a lay in and then go out later in morning, we need a few things, not much, plus pick up some lunch too and maybe few beers locally before the football begins with England playing Denmark in the second of the semi finals. Been up since 4am, today needs to be different. Wasn't really very different, I been out locally, watched tennis and generally relaxed, nothing special. Struggled to watch the football at times, but we managed to scrape into the final on Sunday with a 2-1 extra time win. Sure to be plenty of hype till then. Hoping that Thursday will be a straightforward day, which it was I guess, though some drama unable to get into some of the testing sites, managed to muddle through though. Quiet evening, have dinner and watching Tennis with little to no money I need to have a quiet weekend too aside from the football. Friday, can we still work at home and pop out for some supplies and lunch. Did just that, try and relax over the weekend now and also some time on the gaming side to update my characters.

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY SEVEN 28th JUNE - 4th JULY

New week, add money to Oyster to get you through the month, no money all sad, think we will struggle again this week until end July. Paid rent and bills, so just try your best. Low esteem and need something good to happen soon, might be able to survive this month, but only if I can come up with a plan to affect the future. So just how bad will it feel Monday to begin the week, I think I've loads of work on which should help and there are blogs for early part of the week to publish and then update, only once we reach Thursday/Friday will the picture be clearer. Monday then, up since about 3:30am, not the best start and a very grey/wet day out there this morning. Crack on with work, keep busy and try not to worry so much, which didn't really work out at all, very bad still. Had the tennis on and the football was thrilling so lets hope that today is okay too and that England can see off Germany later today on Tuesday which they did 2-0 to progress. Found enough to do, still worried about money but cannot do much about that till later, have created a top up to my Oyster card and will pick that up tomorrow, watching football now. Wednesday how do we feel, well you sorted the money out and that's all you got for this month. Popped out and picked up few bits for the week, then packed up laptop to head into office on Thursday and Friday this week. Up early on Thursday and headed into office, caught early train and sat with Liz, quite a few in today which was rare. Picked up few things on way home for tea, and we'll aim to see if we can do much on Friday too. While today hasn't been brilliant we are just about seeing it through, football on tonight (Belgium 1-2 Italy on later) and pick up few things on way home again. Italy won 2-1 in a poor game loads of fouls and play acting, they will face Spain who won on penalties against the Swiss. I now need a quiet weekend so I can whittle down the days till I have some money again. Do have dinners, make up pasta batch cooking and hopefully next week will be nicer to me. England vs Ukraine on Saturday night for a place in the semi finals of the Euro 2020 ended with a 4-0 win for us and we'll entertain Denmark on Wednesday next week in the semi finals.

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY SIX 21st JUNE - 27th JUNE

A busy week now, no days off planned for a bit so will have to view and plan some of those soon, more European Champions football during the week and England will have another vital game on Tuesday in Group D against the Czech Republic to decide who wins the group. I will be back in the office on Thursday and Friday this week so will need to prepare for that and the main part of the week will be Friday when I'll get paid and can sort a few bills and other things out. So to begin the week on Monday try and get into the swing of things, also wish Julia a happy birthday, lots of work meetings today. Managed to get through all that and try to get things done, crashed out for the night and did sort of sleep fairly well till Tuesday morning. Another long day and PC issues which are still causing me delays, at least mine seems to work but more meetings, not much help from elsewhere then will have to sort that out when I get back in the office later in week. Tuesday will also see the football on at 8pm, hope for a better display, then we also have a regular gaming session with the guys and shall see how that goes. Didn't really enjoy it much I don't have any affiliation with my character who has become rather boring now. I hope that I can get some sleep again, then Wednesday try to get by without too much fuss, might even pop out again and get couple of bits for lunch and/or some shopping. Did sleep a bit better again, awake once about 3am, but back off till alarm sounded, also managed to go out in morning and picked up few bits and pieces, alarm reset for early start on Thursday and will need to pack bag with laptop for a return to office in morning, see if the afternoon is peaceful then update Kempton blog results later this evening. Into Thursday morning, catch train into London, get laptop looked over. Long day, lots of travelling and my feet really ache, but we made it, didn't get anything for out wagers on the dogs. Picked up some bits for dinner and will have money out over the weekend. Onto Friday, hopefully a quieter day, also in the office again, took old laptop back so it's no longer at home. Much easier travelling day, also caught up with Derek (IT) who I've not seen for over a year, also Andrew and Ceri. Lost loads more money again which was no surprise, think I will still be okay this month but only just. Pay bills, get rent out and try to be safe. This is awful, but we have to just grit our teeth and get on with it. Listen to radio, write some blogs, do some work and chill out. Terrible start to the week and nearly the end of the month. 

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY FIVE 14th JUNE - 20th JUNE

It's Royal Ascot week, so I've a couple of days off later in the week to enjoy that and will be working at home as far as possible. Have recently been informed that I'll be expected to be back in office Thursday and Fridays so not this week as those are the days off I already have booked, but two days back in will have to be okay for the time being, although had planned on Wednesdays so that was a shame. Hopefully can have a good week, the European Championships are underway and England already won against Croatia on Sunday then later this week we have a game against Scotland on Friday evening. Up in early hours on Monday not being very well and the humidity is awful, maybe three hours sleep at best. Rest of Monday seemed ok, we got through it, had lovely salad and fish for dinner and watched the football. 

Updating blogs for Royal Ascot for the opening few days, and will continue throughout the week. Tuesday up from about 2am, having only couple hours sleep doesn't help. Try to have a better day, maybe pop out for a few bits and pieces later, done that, back for the racing, and have another gaming session tonight too, hopefully can get some rest tonight still very hot/humid this afternoon and evening. Wednesday how are we? Was another difficult night but did 'sleep' for a little while, up about 4:30am though, nipped out to Tesco and got something for dinner, milk and few other bits, plus breakfast and back for morning work calls. Planning days off and will be out on Thursday possibly Richmond or Hammersmith as I need to get a gift for Julia. More racing and football today to follow, make the next instalment of my Royal Ascot blog too and we nearly done, hopefully a peaceful day. Very hot and sticky still so we'll see what the weather is like for Thursday for a four day weekend. Plenty of rain last night, but up at 2am this morning, still uncomfortable, been out to Richmond today and got what I needed, trains were not that busy with the Royal Meeting on at Ascot so got home tidy. Updating all the blogs, and will see what I can do on Friday, starting by catching up on the Mock The Week show I fell asleep watching last night. Managed a bit of sleep though, the cooler weather (rain) helping a bit there, up and nip out early in between the showers, posting card for nephew's birthday and pick up some lunch/dinner for later. The rest of Friday was spent updating other blogs for the weekend, watching Royal Ascot and the football too. England play Scotland on Friday night and hopefully we can win that.

2021 DIARY WEEK TWENTY FOUR 7th JUNE - 13th JUNE

A regular week now, no holidays, nothing of much interest, so just need to survive it. Money is still tight unless had a better weekend? Still very tired, and work is really getting me down. I might need more than just the occasional day off but I cannot really plan too much right now. Work will be busy, still unsure if I go in on Wednesday for a day? See how you feel on Tuesday. Might need to deposit £50+ to cover myself and it would feel good to have paid the c/c this month rather than leaving it till end month. So aiming to go out Monday morning and sort out the bank then pick up couple of bits for the week ahead. Try and have a good few days, we need to keep busy. Did the bank, long meetings this afternoon and updated other blogs in evening. Feel tired but struggling to get comfortable so not sure what sort of sleep I'll get. See how Tuesday will be and we did seem to manage some sleep thankfully, looks like a very warm one today. Picked up a few bits today, some more coffee, milk for the weekend and then we've a gaming session tonight, feel bit drowsy. However the alarm set for an early start on Wednesday morning and will try and get into office in good time to find my seat and get set up. Well we did make it in and the trains where as packed as I had expected despite leaving really early, wasn't too bad a day, got plenty done and a chat with Scott, Andrew, and most of all Liz. Office looks like a bomb site now, but going in once a week isn't too bad, then picked up few bits on the way home for dinner. Updated other blogs and will be ready for a work at home day on Thursday again. See if you get some sleep into Thursday morning? Well I was up once briefly in the night but did get back off till the morning which was fine, busy morning though nipped out for some lunch and salad stuff in Tesco, we have enough for the weekend. Made up some salads that's good, and been trying to catch up with the characters on the various gaming sessions. Missed Tv shows in evening as I nodded off but did catch up via the iplayer in the morning. Friday, find that they now want us in the office on Thursday/Fridays which initially didn't feel good but should be ok, I am off next week anyway so doesn't affect us much initially. Friday was a mixed day, been for a walk, won some then lost it, but at least had a play. Lots of messages with Liz and Jenny, now try and have a good weekend with racing next week to write up and the delayed Euro Championships beginning on Friday night (Italy vs Turkey).